Tales from the Bourg

... as in the Stras. Not as in "Resistance is Futile"

Yes it is I! Having returned from visiting our European cousins, I find myself 2 weeks behind in my preparations for christmas. It's unbelievable how quick christmas seems to have snuck up on us this year. Or should I say, snuck up on me. Today for instance, I only just finished writing out all of my cards. I'd have usually have done this days ago. If I hadn't been ahead of the game and done my christmas shopping before I left I would definately be in trouble by now.

It doesn't seem like I was away for 2 weeks either. The time just seem to have flown by. Maybe that's because we were working for 12 hours each day with a 45 minute drive between the site and the hotel (each way). I don't think I have ever worked so hard for such a long period of time. And to top it all off...

...the bloody thing still didn't work by the end of it all.

There were times when I phoned the office over the last 2 weeks and my first words were "The French shouldn't be allowed to build things". The biggest thing was they built it in the wrong place. Which is a particualr problem when the item in question weighs around 20 tonnes and has had all the ancillary equipment positioned and fitted around it . It was only 4 inches out of alignment, but that is enough to make the machine virtually useless. It took a day to move it the requeset distance..

After it had been moved there was a big hole in one side. Without going into too much detail, this hole is the equivalent of having a hole in the side of a straw when you are trying to have a drink. The French solution, was to stuff it full of heat resitant wool and bugger off.

We then had a usuable machine, which needed to be run-in for 3 days before it could be used properly. So we ran it for the requiset number of time and then when we came to use it...

... the door failed. It failed open, letting all the pent up heat (all 700 C) of it out into the room. Melting various fixtures in the process. The emergency release handle failed when we pulled it. In fact it could have been one of those TV comedy moments as the cable on the emergency release snapped leaving the handle in our hands. It took them 3 days to fix this and by that time it was time for me to leave. As far as I know the machine still isn't working.

Overall the job wasn't the best in the world and there were point's where I wasn't particulary happy during those 2 weeks. The French don't have a monopoly on silly mistakes though. I made the mistake of taking a wrong turn on the way to site one day. That doesn't seem to bad until I tell you that if I hadn't realised I would have been driving the wrong way down a German motorway!

I did manage to get into Strasbourg on one day though. It can be best described as "Very Quaint". A lot of it looks like Ye Olde England in place with whitewashed buildings with wood panelling. The Christmas decorations though were superb. The tree in the square is huge and nearly all the streets around the centre are lit up with a different set of lights.

One street has a set of lit chandeliers strung between the shops. Each chandelier is made of real crystal as well. Those decorations muct be worth a fortune! It was packed as well when we went in. Strasbourg and the market are very popular this time of year. That was why our hotel was in Germany and we were commuting into France every morning.

I also saw a French Beaver *snigger, steady boys* which I never expected to see while emerging from a French multi-story. If you can keep yoursleves calm here it is:

The Beaver Shot!

Finally I returned home to find my heating and my hot water were off. The boiler has broken down again and guess what? Yep, you guessed it. The same part which failed last year has gone again. Looking at my records it has failed after 1 year and 5 days. The warranty on said part lasts 1 year.

I think you can guess which company received a very stongly worded email yesterday! ;-)

Merry Christmas Everyone!

It's a Small World After All.

I'm still here!

Yes to quote just about anybody "You know what they say bout best laid plans..." It's not our fault this time though. The customer hasn't finished the actual building yet and doesn't have the necessary clearence from the French Government to cremate. So they asked to postpone it a bit...

... and then an email popped into the inbox this moring from our French office. Basically they expected to be ready for week 52 and they wanted an engineer sent then. Week 52 is exactly as it sounds. The last week of the year. Our reply to that was a firm, but polite "Fat Chance". I'm sure that would sound much more
poetic in French.

Next week is still a go though. I travel out to Strasbourg on Monday from Manchester Airport and won't be back until Friday 15th. So I'm away for about 12 days. There has been some trouble finding me a hotel at the moment because the Chrsitmas market starts in Strasbourg this weekend. Apparently it's VERY popular
and lots of people go there to visit it! I 'm keeping my fingers crossed I get to stay somewhere local.
I'm actually looking forward to it. I'll hopefully get some free time over the weekend to visit the market and maybe get to other places as well. My only worry is that the job has a few problems and I don't get any free time.

Given that I thought I wasn't going to be in the country for 3 weeks (inc. this one). I told the agency not to sort out anymore introductions until the New Year. So in true predictable style, the details of my next introduction landed on my doormat 2 days later. Typical. Still now that I had this week spare, I actually had the time to meet her before I went to France. So last night we went out for a Curry (her choice) before going on to a bar (as we got chased out of the restaurant). I had a really nice evening, we basically talked for most of it (apart from when we were stufing our faces). I'm sure we could of talked all night if it wasn't for the fact we both had work the next day.

I thought me going to France for 2 weeks would be a problem, but in fact she was quite happy to meet up again when I get back. She is actualy very busy anyway during the next fortnight, so it's ideal really. Do you want to know the really amazing thing...

... I actually knew her housemate about 18months ago, but had never met her before last night. It was only during a phone conversation on Sunday night, when I mentioned the ATC, that she actually mentioned she used to live in York and that her housemate was also an ATC instructor. When the truth emerged there were cries of "Oh my God" all round.

How small is this world getting?

The Wonderful Thing About Tiggers!

Good Evening Folks!

I can defiantely say I'm much more perkier at the moment than I have been over the last 3-4 weeks. I'm still suffering with my sinuses, but I've now been switched to a stronger set of Antibiotics as well as a nasal spray. Add that to the fact that my boss was back at work on Thurday, which has really lifted a weight from my shoulders. So overall I have every reason to feel perkier. I certainly feel more awake.

I decided to blitz the house today, which is something I periodically do. So it was dusted, washed, swept, bleached, mopped, vacuumed from top to bottom. Once I started I just didn't stop. After lunch (yes that was before lunch) I went out for a bike ride while the weather was dry (but boy was it cold). I decided to ride on to the next village just to see how far I could get. It's only 3 miles away, but what I didn't take into account was that it was mostly downhill on the way there. I got there thinking "That was easy" and then on the way back all I was thinking was "bugger"! I helped myself to an extra slice of malt loaf after that one.

Looking back on the week, we also had our Annual Formal Inspection at Cadets this week. Basically that's when 2-3 higher ups visit the squadron. We then get rated on everything from our paperwork to moral. They can be very picky. I mean, we got marked down for not having any "No smoking" signs in the building. We don't allow smoking in the organisation for crying out loud. Still we got full marks for moral if nothing else. :-)

My trip to France saga took another twist this week. As you know I was supposed to be there this week. Well it looks likely that I'm now going out to France on Moday 27th for 5 days. Not to bad except...

... I have the weekend and then it looks like I'll be going to France again (Strasbourg this time) for at least 2 weeks. That's going to mean I'm away for half of Decemeber. So I'm either going to have to be really early or really late with my Xmas shopping. Do I dare leave it late in case I'm in France for longer? At least work have given me some warning over this one. Still it's this sort of thing that plays havoc with my social life (what little of it I have ).

Speaking of social life I have a little news. I went to meet my first introduction last night. It was a last minute thing as she'd just finished working nights and I wasn't in France. We went out for a Thai meal which was ratehr nice and we bascally chatted the nigth away. It was a nice evening, but at the end of it we decided that we both weren't what each other was looking for. I can't believe how nervous I was at the start as well. So I'll be going on to the next introduction, although not until I get abck from France probably.

But it makes me wonder, would I even know what I'm looking for, even if it's sitting right in front of me? Or am I too slow to realise these things. I guess we'll find out. It makes me wonder how many opportunites we let slip by because we don't realise they are there...

... or because we weren't willing to risk something.

Oh and blogger keeps telling me that V2.0 is now up and running. Should I be switching?

I want the last week of my life back.

Have you ever had a week where it has taken you the entire weekend to recover?

I can honestly say that this week has definately been one of those weeks! We have just had so much to do at work this week I couldn't believe it. Although I could of guessed it would happen the week when both my boss (paternity leave) and Stuart (who is the tech guy for customer support) were both away. I haven't worked so hard since I joined the company nearly 3 years ago.

I can't believe it has been that long! Where has my life gone?

I basically worked until they locked up the offices on a night. Got home, ate, then went to bed. I have never felt so tired. What made it worse was the fact that I'm currently on Antibiotics for a sinus infection. I won't say anymore, needess to say it's not nice. I can't wait until I can take some time-off from work.

I did all that work mainly because I was supposed to be in France next week. However my trip to France got pushed back by 2 weeks (I got told this on Friday) because the French have yet to get the gas connected. They don't half know how to mess up my life as I'd cancelled all my plans for the following fortnight and planned stuff for the following weeks.

Arrrrggggh!

My boss comes back to the office on Thursday next week and I can't wait. I might be able to get some of my life back before I go to France.

Anybody willing to place bets on if I can manage it?

Forget the Taffic Camera...

... an immovible object is the best thing to get idiots off the road anytime!

Yes I know I probably complain about driving at least once a month, but with this video I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. These are CCTV footage taken from Manchester City centre where automatic bollards have been installed to allow certain vehicles to cut the corner on the one-way system. This means buses, certain delivery vehicles etc...

... freezing out the common Manchester motorist who now has to take the long way round. Either to manage traffic or just to make the city centre a safer (read: awkward) place.



Speaking of traffic management they've installed new Traffic lights on a roundabout on my way home from work. Specifically to improve traffic flow for all of the different roads that connect to the roundabout. All I can say is well done [/sarcasm]. Instead of just one queue of traffic waiting to get across the roundabout there's now two . The lights have the worst timings ever and they are actually set quite away back from the entrance to the roundabout. In summary my journey home now takes an extra 10-15minutes longer.

In other news I talked to my first introduction from "The Agency" today. Unfotunately she's on nights next week and I'm away in France the week after so we're going to get back in touch as soon as I get back. I might be less nervous the 2nd time.

Maybe. ;-)

I Surrender!

I haven't started yet, but already I've given up. Yep, I speak of that soul destroying phenomanon known as NaNoWriMo. Although the "Times Crossword" does come a close second. With my current schedule for November reading something like this:-

• Tuesday + Friday nights: - Air Cadets
• Thursday nights: - T'ai Chi
• 1st weekend: - Manchester
• 2nd weekend:- free + packing for...
• 10 days in France with work coming back for...
• final weekend: London (for 2 Xmas get togethers).

So with my boss due to start Paternity Leave, anytime now, there is no possibility of taking some time off this month either (and god knows I could do with it). This basically leaves me with 5 evenings and 1 weekend to call my own. I'll probably get some free time while over in France, but that I'm counting as a bonus. I'm actually going to a town in the Alps on the Swiss/France border area. It's called Chambery and is approximately 60 miles west of Lyon.

However all is not lost. I'm planning to do something I'm calling Nano-lite. It's like Pepsi Max, but without the crummy adverts and checmical additives. It's not going to be 50,000 words, but I'm sure I can do something smaller in the free time that I can spare it.

So that's what the rest of my evening will be taken up with mostly...

... in other news going back to that essay of a post a made a month ago, I recieved information from"The Agency" about a possible introduction this week. I can't give any details at the moment (confidentially and all that" but I rang the other person this evening, but only got the voicemail service. On which I left the most god-awful message.

I'll tell you now ringing-up a complete stranger (whose existence is only known from a sheet of paper) is one of the most nerve racking things I've ever done.

Thought for the day: Everything in moderation, including moderation.

That Was The Weak That Was...

Erm, well like a week really.

Definately a week of high's and lows. Starting with the big low. My bosses father unfortunately passed away on Thurday morning after suffering a second stroke. My boss came into the office that morning saying things didn't look good. And sure enough 30 minutes later his mobile rang. Unfortunately as we share an office there's not a lot of provacy, and he's too polite to tell me to "piss off" so he picked up his mobile and wandered to the empty office next door.

Sure enough he came back in about 10 minutes later and all he said was "I'm going to go home". Now I knew as soon as his phone rang what was going to happen yet in the 10 minutes he was out the office I couldn't work out what to say to him. Even when he came back in all I could reply was "Fine, no problem." Awkward doesn't begin to cover it. He returned to the office today and was slightly less akward now that he's starting to talk about it, but I've generally tried to avoid starting that particualr conversation. My only concern is that it might be seen as dis-interest on my part.

What makes it even more akward is that his wife is due to give birth tomorrow actually to there second child. So we'll be losing him to paternity leave shortly as well. This tends to be a happier topic of conversation, but there are moments where I catch a look of fear in his eye when he talks about.

I'be been rather impressed with myself this week on the amount of fitness trainingI've managed to do. As well as the cycling circuits I managed on Wednesday, I attended two, 3 hour sessions of T'ai Chi this week. The first was on Thurday night which is my usual training night. But there was also an extra session on saturday morning as well.

This session gather's together students and their teachers from all over the leeds area (inc. Huddersfield) so it's quite a gathering. I really enjoyed it. The class seems so diffrent when there is about 40 people, rather than the 8 we usually get on a Thursday night. Our instructor was the guy who I've come to call Yoda on these pages. I can definately say my fitness has improved since starting these classes. From what looks very easy on the outside, it's amazing how hard you work when it's done properly. For example, try walking across a room while taking a single breath. The 'in' breath should be continuous for about 15 seconds and then the outbreath should last for the same amount of time. At the moment I can control an 'in' breath for 11 seconds and an out breath for 18 seconds.

And to top all that off I cleaned my enitre house from top to bottom on Saturday afternoon! Go me. I must admit I had let it slide a little, but things are all spick and span(ish) again. Needless to say I was total shagged (technical term) by Saturday evening. So I treated myself to some of those huge Cookies from Tesco's and sat down and watched a DVD Saturday evening. For those of you who are interested I watched Munich for the first time. I would recommend it, but I'm still slightly unsure as to the ending.

Sunday saw me decide to go shopping in Leeds. To cut out the problems of hunting for a car parking space I decided to take the train. Those of you have been to Micklefield station, know it is basically 2 small platforms with a bus shelter on each. The train was supposed to arrive at 10:12 it still hadn't arrive by 10:32 and all I got when ringing National Rail enquires was the automated message "Signal problems between York and Leeds" Eventually I gave up waiting and decided to drive in after all

I offered a lift to the only other person on the platform. We'd only exchanged a few words, but I felt I should offer her the chance as she was trying to make a connection at Leeds. What I didn't expect was that she'd accept! So we walked back to my house and I gave her a lift all the way to leeds station. Considering we'd only spoken a few words of exasperation on the platform, we got on quite well, having a continuous conversation all the way to Leeds station. At one point we got talking about friends and I mentioned about meeting most of you guys on the net.

She asked how it was I could go out and meet total strangers that I'd only ever met and could trust them not to be "completely nuts" as she put it. I had to smile, but I held back my comment about the fact that she'd accepted a lift from a complete stanger and we hadn't even exchanged names until we were half way back to my house. I dropped her off at the station and seh said she hoped that she "would like to bump into me again". It was nice getting to know her it's a shame I don't know where she lives and how to contact her. Who know's maybe we'll bump into each other again.

Do I have that much faith in fate? We'll see!

We're Surrounded Sarge.

"Don't worry men we'll fight them to the last!"

Well after lull where I thought I'd chased them out of the house. They're back! And this time they are bigger than ever. That's right I'm currently in the middle of the second spider invasion of the year. My tally for the last 2 days is 4 and each one has been of the long legged variety that come into my "freakin huge man" catagory.

I hate to say it, but I'm still exercising a "kill on site" policy, especially with these speedy buggers. If I didn't I very much doubt I would eb able to sleep at night knowing something like that was scuttling around my room. In fact I've caught 2 in my bedroom, 1 in the hall outside my bedroom and one ran out from underneath the couch I'm currently sitting on.

If I was the paranoid type, I would be wondering what mackes me more attractive to arachnids, rather than to members of my own species.

In other news... er... nothing much really. I went out cycling this evening and did circuits up and down the nearby hill (it was too foggy) to go to far. In fact now I come to think about it, it's been almost perpetual fog around here for the last few days. I live in a sort of valley and every morning and evening this week, I've driven out of the fog to work. Then, I've had to come down one side of the valley, back into the fog to get home again.

Maybe the government is doing genetic experiments on spdiers under the cover of the fog?

My Departed Parting!

There's always the same problem with a blog. How can you update it when there's nothing to update it with? I got my wish. My weekend was lovely and peaceful, with no rushing around, stressful phonecalls and not even a burnt piece of toast to remind me of work. I think the most exciting thing was probably the fact that I got my hair cut!

Don't laugh, this is a big event for me nowadays. Due to the fact that my hair is growing backwards, I go to the barbers less and less these days. This was also the first visit that didn't require them to cut my fringe, mainly due to the fact that it no longer exists. *sob*

Maybe I should post it's Epitaph:-

Andrew Ellis' Fringe
1980-2006 Aged 26
Gone, but not forgotten.
He is still with us, in our hearts &
on my driving license!
No wig will ever replace him.

I just I keep enough of it to gain some grey hairs. I've always wondered what I'd look like with grey hair and I'm hoping some of it stays around long enough to change colour.

On the subject of hair, do you know what really annoys me. Razor adverts! Being forced into using a manual razor has meant they now piss me off more than usual. The advert shows the razor gliding over some blokes face with no resistance whatsoever and then brags about how good it is. The reason it was so easy was the fact that blokes face had been waxed and polished before the advert. Either that or Gillette has a genetics program that allows them to breed genetically hairless men. It was probably an offshoot of the program to breed kittens for people allergic to cats!

Eitherway he had no stubble and therefore was in no need of a shave. I situation I would gladly like to be in. I'm sure my chin is missing 1/2 inch somewhere from that razor of mine.

Anyway maestro drumroll please.

[/drumroll]

I came across this the other day while cleaning up the files on my laptop. This is the first anime music video I ever made. This was when I was at uni and had the time to sit down and compose such things. It's depressing song I know, but if you ever watched the anime it was based on (quite apt really as it was about young girls discovery of herself on the internet!) then you'd understand how well the song fits the anime.

Enjoy: ~

5 Day Stretch

I'm back, finally. Well to be honest I've been back for a few days, but I haven't really been "all here" if you know what I mean! But like all good stories we'll start at the beginning. I always find it's the best way. Although one of these days I promise I'll tell you a story that begins at the end.

As I mentioned on Tuesday there was a last minute decision to send me upto Scotland to fix some problems at a new job. This is probably my single biggest grudge with my job. When things don't get planned correctly it's usually muggins here that goes out to pick up the pieces. Such was the case with this job. I know of at least one other job that due to planning problems will require me to go out again. But I've got a bit more warning about this one, mainly due to the fact that it means I'll be out in France for a fortnight!

Anyway, back to Scotland, to a place near High Blantyre (just South of Glasgow. It was one of those annoying jobs, other people haven't done there jobs properly, I go up there and they just leap out at you immediately. A lot of it is technology that's new to the UK and it's all about getting it rght now, before we have to install lot's of this technology in the next few years. Environmental regs are tightening up and technology has to be added to at least 50% of all sites to bring them into line.

So I got back from Scotland on Friday, upset everyone with my report, before heading off to my weekend training course with the ATC. It was the BASIC instructors course which all 18 year cadets need to take and is recommended for most instructors. The course ran from Friday evening to Sunday evening, covering everything from Abuse, Drug to Duty of Care.

It was a decent course and one I have to take before I apply to become a uniformed member of staff. There were 4 adult instructors and 10 cadets on the course and there were other courses on which meant that the total number of cadets was 140. The cadets were aged 14-18 and under strict restrictions. Thankfully there were fewer restrictions on staff, which makes giving up a weekend for the course much easier to swallow.

Which leads me into this week. Where I have been suffering from cold all week. My nose feels like it has been blocked up by concrete and on Monday & Tueday night I came home, had something to eat and basically went to bed, when I couldn't do anything else. My head is starting to clear, but this didn't really help on Tueday. My boss had to dash off early as his dad had a massive stroke and was in intensive care in Liverpool. I took all his workload for the day and ended up leaving work really late. I missed cadets, which was annoying as we had a VIP turning up and he squadron needed as much help as possible.

I'm hoping the later part of this week will settle down. I could do with somedays where nothing happens. For a change anyway. ;-)

Anime Music Video (AMV) of the Day: ~

The Rest of It...

Although the weekend actually started on the Friday for me. I took the day off (mainly in response to working my butt off, while my boss was away the week before). So in the words of the immortal Homer S ~ "Woohoo 3 day weekend!"

Friday was basically jobs day. I travelled into Leeds to take my electric razor to be fixed. I know it's been awhile since that actually broke, however it took until last week to convince the manufacturer that it was actually broken. Trying not to be too sarcastic, but when you press the "on" button and the device remains "off" that fits my description of "broken". I've had to leave it with them, but the bloke at the counter basically told me that the "Washable Razor" wasn't actually water resistant!

Bit of a design flaw methinks.

I also pre-ordered a Wii (yes pronounced We). Going into a shop and asking for one of those is probably just as embarrasing as blokes buying condoms or tampons. For those not in the know it is the next generation game console from Nintendo. I admit it, I'm still a computer game playing geek, but seen as how I don't smoke or drink, I need at least one vice.

The rest of Friday was basically filled cleaning the house. When I clean, I clean everything. So that took most of the afternoon. The evening saw me travel west to Manchester on the daily carpark known as the M62. To be fair tt wasn't that bad, however for those poor souls travelling east, let's just say ti would of been quicker to travel by camel.

The rest of my weekend was spent in the delightful company of Dave and Simon, where we discussed Wittgenstein over a game of backgammon...

... okay we spent the weekend eating lots of junk food, watching sport and playing computer games. We did attempt the Times Crossword and we did leave the house to go into Manchester (resulting in my previous entry). But overall it was an enjoyable weekend. Hopefully I'll have a few more before November which promises to be a bsy month!

That's a new one...

... excuse that is!

The excuse in question was "I'm sorry mate, I just got up too early this morning." Why is it that even though you've never met them, some people still insist on calling you mate? Anyway back to the excuse in question. These were the first words of the guy who ran into the back of my car in Stockport on Satruday lunchtime. Luckily there were no dents, but the paint work at the back of my car is now scratched and scuffed.

To be fair he was very apologetic about it all. I need to find out how much it is going to cost to fix and then send him the bill. He doesn't want to go through his insurace company he was desperate to keep his no clais bonus. Something I can sympathise with having lost mine once already.

Still what an excuse eh? There are a number of really angry and cutting remarks that filled my head at that point, but I frankly didn't see the use in venting any of them. The damage (literally) was already done. I just wished he'd stayed in bed rather than get behind the wheel of a car. My back bumper is a paltry thing compared with... maybe a child instead.

Lyrics of the Day:

So tomorrow there will be another number,
for the one who had a name.
A desert wind and a perverse desire to win,
history buried in shame.

Are those beating drums,
celebration guns.
The thunder and the laughter,
The last thing they remember.

And then the next day,
how will you know your enemy,
by their colour or your fear.
One by one you can cage them in your freedom,
make them all disappear.

Are those beating drums,
celebration guns.
The thunder and the laughter,
The last thing they remember.

Goodnight, sleep light, stranger

Celebration Guns ~ Stars (I like the whole song, so sue me!)

The Price of Happiness

Most of today has been spent watching the single matches of the Ryder Cup. Being a Golf fan (for my sins) I couldn't really be expected to do anything else. I was amazed at how well the European team played and my congratulations go out to them. Also I must admit that there was a tear in my eye when Darren Clark won his match on the 16th. It's incredible how well Darren was playing considering it wasn't so long ago that he lost his Wife to Cancer.

When I wasn't watching the golf I finally finished piecing my bike back together. I bought a seat on eBay (where else?) and I can quite happily report that it is a much better design for the male form. It's actually filled with that Gel-type material and it is much more comfortable to ride with. I took the bike out for a test-ride up and down the hill a couple of times just to make sure everything is okay. With no problems I'm just hoping for some nice weather towards the back end of the year so that it doesn't just sit in the garage until next year!

I suspect you guys are probably wondering what I alluded to in my last entry. I suspect it wasn't (partially) what you thought. It should be interesting though.

I really don't meet many (any) new people. Between work and all of my evening activities I must be honest and say I don't get out much. Mind you "going out" has never been my scene anyway .If I go anywhere it's usually to meet friends and I just don't really have those kind of "friends" around here. I have friends at work certainly, but I'm the youngest person in the office at the moment and it's very rare that I see anybody outside of work.

All of my real close friends are you guys who have had the delight and fortune to meet via the internet and university. Just imagine those of us who live at the four corners of this country (and the globe), would we have gone on with our lives not knowing each other without the internet?

Now before I go any further these thoughts aren't as depressing as they probably read. As I type there is a smile on my face and it is a situation I have learned to at least become comfortable with. However these are thoughts that have been running through my head these past couple of weeks. I have been wondering what happens now? How do I move forward...

... Well what I actually did this weekend was join an "introduction agency". Bet you didn't see that one coming did ya? Knowing my situation and wanting to become pro-active I thought this to be a possible solution. So on Saturday I went for an interview to join the agency. They interview all potential clients to assess there suitability and obviously to get details as to what people are looking for.

The agency (I'll keep calling it that as it makes it sound like something out of a spy novel) was in the middle of moving offices so they were actually based temporarily in a suite in the Marriot hotel. They were also running late as the hotel staff had forgotten where they had put them and were directing clients the wrong way.

The interview actually went on for 2+ hours. I won't say too much about it, most of the questions would be as you would suspect. What was interesting though was the use of psychometric testing similar to those used by an employer. I had to smile while doing those. Every time I've done one of those I've upset the person assessing them. People like to use them to pigeon hole you to one category or another. Generally I get scores that put me equally in them all, prompting a "I'll get ye yet cully" look in there eyes.

The second interesting thing is the conversation that occurred when the interview moved in the direction of my occupation. I obviously told her I was a Software/Commissioning engineer, but it was the subject of "on what" that we ended up talking for ages on. I'm always amazed how people want to know more on the subject. I suppose deep down people have a morbid fascination for it, that they just don't realise is there until they have the opportunity to find out more! I think my company should advertise it as a perk of the job.

Anyway after going through all that I am now a member of "The Agency". I'll admit here and now it's not cheap. Erm membership is a 4 figure number and I'll just leave it there. Will it be worth it? I won't be able to answer that question yet, but I'm hoping that turns into a definite YES in the future.

So what happens next? Well obviously all my information goes into the system and then we wait. They promise upto 16 introductions in a year (if you need them) and it usually takes about 3 weeks before they send you details of the first one. When things start happening, I promise you my friends will be the first to know. I'm going to be as completely open as I can be on this and I suspect I'll be all the happier for it!

Wow, I've just re-read this lot and it's a monster of a post. If you've got to the end - you deserve a cookie. And if you remind me nest time you see me, I'll be very happy to oblige!

Profound Lyric of the day:

Sacred geometry.
Where movement is poetry.
Visions of you and me forever.

Dark Waltz ~ Hayley Westenra

Typed in Blood!

I just love a dramatic post title. Don't you?

Never has a post title been so apt in this case. At the moment my eczema is playing havok with my hands. The skin is all cracked on my fingers and it was so bad earlier in the week I caught a slight infection as well. So they become all swollen which made it difficult to type, also bending certain fingers opened up parts of the skin...

...causing the phenomenon described in the title. So I've been avoid general keboard usage whenever possible this week. Which has been a bit difficult with work seen as how it's part of my job and all. I've tried to stick to the task that don't involve typing, but i'm the only one in the office this week (my boss is on holiday), so I've had to take on what I've come to call emergency typing.

Of course this has also meant no blogging etc when I got home otherwise I'd have no fingers left. Although I wouldn't have to worry about blood stains as they would just blend in with my sofa! Thankfully the swelling has gone down now and I can flex my fingers without it turning into a scene from A Nightmare on Elm Street.

Thankfully (?) it's been a slow news week up here so you haven't missed out on much. Only one noteworthy tidbit. Last friday we took the cadets on a night time exercise on Strensall Common which is an area of land the Army use for exercises. There were 10 staff members and 60 cadets. Anyway at the end of the evening we got back to where we'd parked our cars to find that a member of staff had lost there car keys somewhere on the common. Not only that but somebody else had put there car keys in this persons car for safe (??) keeping.

Oh dear! It's 11 in the evening pitch black and the common now contained tall grass, bushes, tree's, ditches, swamps and 1 set of car keys. The common is about 3 sq. km and we had 70 people. Needle, haystack, whichever way you look at it we had no chance. I don't know how they got into the car as we had to leave before then. I suspect if we'd have enquired one of the cadets may have had the necessary "skills" to "help".

See I told you it was a slow news week. I may have somethign slightly more interesting to post about on Saturday. Depends on how things go and how... er ... open I'm feeling.

Thought provoking lyric of the day:

When it all comes crashing down,
And the prayers move in to town.
Bring your floral words,
Wrapped in selafane.

Richard Ashcroft ~ Sweet Brother Malcolm

Trying Hard to Keep it Up...

... my internet connection that is!

What I forgot to mention in my last entry is that on friday evening we took the cadets to York Maze. Cut from fields of Maize (definate pun intended there) it is the size of 15 football pitches. Every year it is cut into a different design and this year it had a Star Trek theme (it being the 40th anniversery and all). It's actually really good and there's an arial shot if you follow the earlier link.

The reason we went last week was because they have started there Halloween activites. Yes I know it's early but the rest of the Maze (Maize) get's harvested before Halloween and they have to do it sometime before then. As you would expect they have people positioned round the maze in halloween costumes and it is open until 11pm in the evening. The best bit were the blokes in hockey masks running around with real chainsaws. You could hear them (and the screams) from the other side of the Maze.

I love scaring cadets. It's one of life's little pleasures.

Speaking of scary things, today I was sat in my office which faces the main road when suddenly there was this loud bang from outside. I peered through the blinds to find a lorry parked by the side of the road and a mangled lump of metal on the pavement slightly behind it. It transpires that the twisted lump used to be a bus shelter. The lorry was transporting it (it didn't look very secure) and then it suddenly fell off the back (I don't know why). The driver was very lucky, I suspect that if there had been anybody on the pavement at that time they'd be dead (or at least seriously injured).

I've also never actually heard of a bus shelter being vandalsied before it was even installed!

I went cycling this evening for the first time in ages. I didn't go too far (just up and down the hill a couple of time). I would probaby have gone further if it wasn't for that seat. When I called it a device of KGB torture last week I was doing it a definate injustice. Although it's not so bad as finishing Alias season 2 which I did on Monday Night. That ends on an even bigger cliffhanger than the first season. What's worse is that you in way can see it coming, just because it seems to have nothing in common with what's gone before. This was a series made for DVD as each season puts a gun to your head and forces you to buy the next one. I need to see S3 just to find out what's going (gone) on!!!

Finally I came across this statistic in the paper on Monday.

"HALF of all wives fantasise about sex with other men within two years of getting married but only three in 10 act on them, a poll of 6,300 20 to 38-year-old women showed."

Only 3 in 10. I know it's not a large survey but that's 30%. Definatley an example of when wording is key!

Spiderwatch:-
Just the one so far, caught it right above my bed on the ceiling last night. Fast little bugger as well. Maybe he was waiting for me to go to sleep before pouncing...

Profound Lyric of the Day:
It’s a sad sad story when a mother will teach her,
Daughter that she ought to hate a perfect stranger.

Not Ready to Make Nice ~ Dixie Chicks

For the unintiated:-


More Dixie Chicks lyrics and videoclips on Lyricspy

Stormy Weather

I feel like a Yo-yo, my net connection seems to last 30 seconds, goes down, comes back up and then goes down again. Obviously this post has been brought to you thanks to notepad and the ability to copy/paste stuff...

...and then catching it on the upswing. I need to check that my enemy is not trying to cut off my lines of communication. Either that or it has something to do with the thunderstorm that's just suddenly appeared out of nowhere outside my window?

Well after last weeks invasion, things seem to have settled down to a war of attrition. Except that I would imagine that ? would lose a war of attrition, there being only one of me and probably an army of several million of them. Still I have manged to remove 2 more of the 8-legged infantry from various corners of my house. Not to call me paranoid, but I do check the ceiling in bedroom before I go to bed as well. ~ Cheers Eileen for putting that happy thought in my head! ;-)

I now have a working washing machine as well. So it turned out to be worth the day-off just get that fixed. I'm glad really, as there was a possibility that the engineer would get here diagnose the problem and then tell me I'd need to wait for delivery of a part! As it was I still had to fork out £90 for a call-out that lasted less than an hour and the fix was just reloading the control software into the machine. Still I have managed to put 2 loads through it today without a problem (apart from those caused by me trying to operate the machine).

On the nearly working front is my bike. I have cleaned it, oiled it and replaced the front brakes + innertube. The rear brakes work, but squeak like a mouse trying to yodel. I'll have to replace those when the bike shop get some more in. The other thing I need to replace is the sadle. I took the bike for a quick run up and down the hill to ensure that I had put everything back together correctly and the saddle just felt like it was made of wood. It's so thin I'm assuming it was invented by an ex-KGB torturer whose's branching out into other areas.

So when I go back for the brakes I'm going to look for a better saddle and also a helmet. Better to be safe rather than sorry, especially with some of the hills round my way. I haven't dared try any yet, but I bet you could get up some speed on the downhill sections.

Thought Provoking Lyric of the Day:
Why must we lose love to ever know love at all? ~ Light of Day - The Divine Comedy

OH what the hell I can't get enough of the chorus either...1...2...3...&

When there's no more lies to hide behind.
And no more tears to cry,
I know we'll be alright.
'Cause even though the skies above are cold and grey.
I'm sure tomorrow we will see the light of day.

I Have Had it with the Motherf**king Spiders in this Motherf**king House

Shamlessly borrowed from Simon!

Okay own up. Who doesn't have their fair share. My house just seems to be awash with spiders at the moment. I know I've complained about living on my own, but that wasn't an open invitation for my eight legged friends to come along and keep me company. I'd just about got rid of all those annoying Thunder Bug type things as well.

But now everytime I come back to my house on an evening I'm finding yet another spider trying to set up residence in one of the numerous corners in my house. I have ... er ... removed at least 7 or 8 so far this week using various means. If I were to detail it all I'd probably sound like a B-Movie version of "Snakes on a Plane" if such a thing is possible.

Also to add to the list of things that have broken in my house - my electic razor has gone on the blink. Which means I'm currently trying to hack my face off every morning with a manual razor. This wouldn't be so bad except I've never used a manual razor in my life. It's always been easier and quicker to use an electric one. so far there's been no blood, but it's always in the back of my mind that maybe I'd do better with sandpaper.

Maybe I should try waxing or something?

I hope to reduce my "broken" list by one early next week. I've got an engineer coming to look at my washer/dryer on Monday. Not before time as well, it actually switched itself on while empty on Monday night. It's currently unplugged to prevent a repeat performance. The really annoying thing though is I've had to take a day off work to get it fixed, so I hope they can do it on the day!

Topical Thought for the Day: At the moment it's currently San Marino 0 - 13 Germany in the football. Sort of puts England 5 - 0 Andorra in perspective doesn't it?

Nothing to see here, move along!

It's been a rather quiet weekend (for once). Unfortunately we had lots of rain yesterday which meant the cadets couldn't actually go gliding. Which was a shame it was nice weather when we drove to the airfield. Unfortunately just before the first cadets went up the heavens opened. We stayed around for a couple of hours to see if the weather would break, but by lunchtime it had just gotten worse. The day wasn't a total loss for the Cadets. They each got to beat me senseless at Tony Hawk for the PS one (a skateboarding game).

Which was nice. The only other bits of news are rather short.

1. I now own a bike. It used to be my dad's but he hasn't used it in a while so I bought it off him. It needs a bit of work, but nothing tot serious. I managed to fix most of it this morning, it only requires a new innertube at the front. I can now explore the area better than I can on foot and maybe see what lies beyond those parts of the village that are too far to walk on an evening and are inaccessible by car.

2. I finally got it. That f*$king huge spider that's been running around my living room I finally managed to catch it just now. I'm sorry, but it didn't survive the encounter. My nerves are not strong enough where spiders are concerned (especially when they are that big).

They are my krypronite!

My To-Ignore List

I just love bank holiday weekends. They're the sort of weekends for making a list of things to do...

... and then ignoring it! So I've got to work through the list and blitz the house next weekend, I don't care. I was perfectly satisfied watching many, many episodes of House S2 with Simon, Dave and Amanda. Oh and there was plenty of junk food and birthday cake as well. The diet starts again this week me thinks.

I know a short while ago I complained about the standard of driving, so I thought I would instead share a couple of things that have made me smile while I've been driving recently.
The first thing actually demonstrated to me not just how bad driving standards were, but also how some people never really listened in Maths lessons (I hope Simon is doing his best to rectify this). On the M60 (the motorway that circles Manchester) there is a set of roadworks that I have to drive though in order to reach Dave's. To protect the workers they have set up SPECS cameras to enforce the 40 mph speed limit.

For those of you that have no idea what I'm talking about SPECS are "average" speed cameras. They don't check your speed as you pass, they actually work out your average speed between camera's to ensure you don't speed at all. There were signs all over stating that these were "Average" speed cameras. Yet I saw at least 2 people who ?I can only assume didn't know the meaning of the word. They sped past me at over 60 mph, slowed down when they saw a camera and then immediately sped up again as soon as they were past it.

If they had just paid more attention in maths they probably wouldn't have a nice brown envelope from Manchester Police landing on there doorstep about now.

The second made me chuckle, although I must admit I shouldn't really laugh at other peoples mis-fortune. As I left work on Tuesday evening I past 2 vehicles parked up on the hard shoulder. One was an armoured bank vehicle the other was a Renault Clio. I'm sorry to say the first thing that went through my head is "Oh my god somebodies tried to ram raid an armoured truck with a clio". Which is the same as trying to open a can of soup with a pencil sharpner.

For some reason I can't upload pictures at the moment otherwise I had some nice examples already lined up.

Anyway I'm now off to contemplate what to do on my list first this weekend...

... oh wait I'm going flyng with Cadets on Saturday and I've just got Alias season 2 through the post today (which is just one big cliffhanger). Maybe I better not make that to do list too big.

Indiana Ellis & Danio Chan Anaelau

Dah De Dah Dah! Dum Dee Dum! etc...

... With the way I hum the Indiana Jones theme, I bet John Williams is turning in his swivel chair.

Yes it is I, having finally returned from the coast of deepest darkest Wales. It is an inhospitable place called home by those of the tribe knowna as the "Welsh". Danger (and speed cameras) lurks around every corner. On the last day of my journey the local canoe filling station (a Total garage) was raided right infront of the Premier Travel Inn mudhut provided for me by the
locals. From the aftermath I can only assume the purpotrators were rogue members of the tribe assisted by an elephant.

Unfortunately I had other pressing maters to attend to so I could not supply the locals with my skill at chastising the criminals with my bullwhip (Standard issue to all engineers). I had been called to this dark and distant land to help the tribe recover there sacred furnace so that they could re-start local funeral rites . This would have the added effect of the local shaman being able to get a good nights sleep without being woken up from the excesive chatter of all those lost souls.

There were many perils to overcome before the sacred fires were restored. But nothing my inate ability to look good wih my shirt half buttoned and my perminiant Jungle designer stubble couldn't fix. Only once did the fires require the caress of my bullwhip. The locals provided me reasonably well feed, only once did I go hungry when the tribes captured chef (only survivor from a plane crash) walked out into the jungle never to return.

Eventually the fires were lit and the day was saved (Cue rousing score). The locals cheered and I was rewared with milk, honey and the offer of local bride in gratitude. Sadly I had to decline the chief offer of the bride, her previous intended the local champion at the quaint sport of Rugby (Gavin I think his name was, pronounces Gaa-vin) didn't look best pleased. He also didn't look the type to stand there while I attempted to subdue him with my bullwhip!

So with a garland of odd yellow flowers around my neck, I mounted my steed (a game beast a breed of Volkswagen) called Touran and departed into the sunset. Trying to follow the ancient map which led me there in the first place, back to civilisation. The map itself remains a mystery, I acquired it from an odd looking shop where the owner had this gerbil on the counter. The Gerbil also seemed to have a fascination with stallone films. The only clue I have to the maps origin is the initials AA on the cover. Only once did I have to deviate from it's marked path ending up on the odd route known only as the M6 toll road, but that is another story...

Okay I admit, I may have spiced up week away just a little bit. It wasn't that interesting so I just couldn't resist it. Especially with what awaited me when I actually got home. I'd been away so long that it was definately like something out of indiana jones. The spiders had taken over! I was fighting my way through cobwebs to get into my bathroom. I kept looking over my shoulder as I walked down the stairs half expecting to see a boulder hurtling my way. I'll admit it now I
wasn't very humane to those spiders that I found. But there's this huge one that did manage to scuttle away into a dark corner where I couldn't reach him (he's freaking huge man) and I'm just waiting for him to make an appearence again...

... So I can scream like a girl and run for cover.

Oh and for those of you who are interested. That bit of the title that requries you to have ill fitting false teeth to say is welsh for "Fire of Saddness" according to those loving internet elves.

R.I.P Driving Etiquette

I've always held off posting about this, but today was just the last straw.

Aren't driving standards just getting worse and worse. Not just that, but there is a general lack of common courtesy in driving nowadays as well. Take the example that annoyed me this morning. I was in a queue of traffic waiting to turn right at a roundabout. I eventually get to the front, but due to the amount of traffic coming round there I had to sit there for a minute to wait for a gap. In the meantime I car pulls up on my left without his indicators on (usually a sign they are going straight across).

I bet you can guess what happens next. Yep, as soon as there is a gap he shoots off, immediately crossing over infront of me as he actually wants to turn right like the rest of us. The fact he did it almost immedaitely means he knows where he is going. I sort of knew it was going to happen as well. I see it everyday at junctions and roundabouts, that there is just some sort of inevitability about it now.

We would never tollerate somebody queue jumping in a bank or a post office and I suspect most people wouldn't even consider it! So why do people think it's acceptable practice as soon as they get behind the wheel of a car. Are manners an "optional extra" with cars nowadays. And don't get me started on the use of indicators. They've been "optional extras" for what seems like ages now.

What scares me the most is I'm seeing more stuff which I would call downright dangerous. I recognise that mistakes can happen. I myself am not immune, but you can sometimes see it in what I like to call "driving body language" what people intend to do. It'd be interesting if somebody could come up with some sort of figures on this sort of thing (impossible I know).

I reckon the decline in diving standards would possibly occur around the sametime as the introduction of the speed camera and the reduction of traffic officers.

Thought for The Day:

What is Simplification? This definition is brought to you by the government's "Better Regulation Executive" (and copied exactly by the way):-

"Simplification means reviewing, reducing and removing regulatory burdens for the public, private and voluntary sectors, either through merging regulations in to a more manageableform or removing inconsistency within or between regulations. The aim of simplification is to reduce regulatory burdens wherever possible but without removing the necessary protections regulation provides, for the environment or workers, for example. An important part of the simplification process is to gather practical suggestions from those being regulated - businesses, voluntary and public sector organisations and individuals - that can inform government thinking on how to simplify regulation."

Simple eh?

Cliffhanger

I had a really busy week at the first half of last week. I only have myself to blame. 16 months of living in my house mean that it had already succumbed to that horrible little desease called "clutter". So what possessed me to try and sort it out I'll never know. I think I must of been suffering with something to think "Hey that sounds a good idea".

Now considering my only free evenings during the week are Mondays and Wednesdays I think I did rather well. Although I must admit I did cheat a little bit towards the end and some stuff was just moved wholesale into the Garage. And that was because it was much more work to put it in the loft where I originally wanted to put it.

It's my own fault. When I know I've got company coming I always go into a frenzy of cleaning. And yes Simon that includes you and Dave as well. Helen was visiting Leeds to see friends from uni, but she thankfully had time to stop by for the weekend. We had intended to try and go climbing sometime over the weekend, but the fact that the climbing centre kept ignoring my phonecalls put a stop to that idea.

So instead we settled in to watch Alias Season 2. Last time Helen visited, she brought S1 and we got about halfway through that. So when she left I immediately went out an bought it just so I could see the end. That show just seems to be one big cliffhanger. We only got half way through S2 this time so you can guess what I'm going to be doing this week.

There was also a good natured argument on what constitutes a hill. Specifically I think part of my walking route takes in a hill, but helen's not so sure. I think I'm going to be taking some photo's at somepoint to let you guys decide. We both agree there are too many thunderbugs on that route though! She eventually escaped back to the south of England on Sunday eveningwhere (apparently) they don't exist.

Next time I'm down there I think I should reintroduce a colony of them.

Now A Word From Our Sponsers

Hello,

It is now raining...Whoot...at last maybe this place will start to cool down. Maybe my grass will go from yellow, back to something resembling a sort of green colour. Maybe I'll get home to actually find I've got a moat. Wouldn't that be something? Mind you, if I've got a moat I'd have to go the whole hog and build a drawbridge and a portcullss to replace my garden gate.

But I ramble, mainly as I have nothing to post that hasn't already been highlighted elsewhere. I was on a big tidying kick yesterday and I'm still in tidy mode, so it behoves me to clutter the net even further. At the moment the net probably resembles a stack of magazines in somebodies garage. In amongst them is probably the one bit of info you'd actually want, but you can't bring yourself to throw any of them out. Mainly due to the fact that it's a long boring job actually sorting through them. Maybe the net could do with some webpage recycling centre.

So in celebration of the clutter of the net let us look at the most cluttered of places that have kept me amused over the course of the year so far, Google Video:

We have the end of the world!

The obligatory cute things!

The Comedy Fan-made Sci-fi trailer.

Something to spice up office life.

People with too much time on there hands.

Hamster.

We now return you to our regular programming!

Phew!

That title is so apt in so many ways. Firstly, the weather. And yes, I'm going to moan about this as well. It's just too damned hot. With my boss on holiday this week I have both office fans pointed in my direction and both windows open and I'm still roasting away. It probably does't help that I have a small electrical panel sat next to me for testing. That's like a small radiator in itself (although unsuprisingly it doesn't help in winter). What's worse is I get home knackered and find it hard to sleep because of the heat. I'm not asking for it to be cold. Just a drop of 5 deg C would be sufficient for me.

Secondly I dodged a bullet today. I finially managed to talk a swedish operator how to set up his PC. This has taken me 2 weeks and has caused me no end of grief. Mainly becasue I set the Pc's up for him before they were sent and 3 days after I get a phonecall with the immortal words "They don't work". Now I come to think of it, that another one that I should have added to the list of things were broken. If I didn't get it fixed today, I'd of had to fly out to Sweden next week for a couple of days. Not the sort of thing I reallly wanted to do at the moment. That would have been a really manic trip!

As you've probably guessed I survived Sunday. I would definately add "what a scorcher" to that phew, when talking about Sunday. There were absolutely hundreds of people attending and it was our job to supply water to everbody while they were outside. We also had to run errands for people with problems. I had to walk halfway across the city to meet a taxi carrying an item from a hotel that one of the ladies had forgotten.

To give you an idea of numbers here is a picture of all of the Womens Royal British Legion banner bearers outside York minster.

And here is the cadet's contribution to the banners used on the parade:

From left to right:

Cpl Fensome, Cpl Triffit and Cdt McManus.

Fensome and Triffit are cadets from my squadron (2487 Easingwold) and McManus is from York squadron. Fensome and McManus are carrying there respective squadron banners. Cpl Triffit was selected to carry the banner of the War widows. Everbody enjoyed themselves and was thoroughly exhuasted by the end of the day.

Cynical Thought for the day:If ignorance is bliss. Why aren't more people happy?

Ouch!!

Well you said to make the third breakage cheap! And who am I to ignore advice. Last night I broke the cheapest thing of all to break....

...me!

Don't worry it's not too bad, I'm just being melodramatic. I was playing Volleyball on the staff team against a team of cadets. Except that the cadets had a full team of 6 and the staff had a team of 3. So we were running around like our tails on fire trying to cover the entire court. In this weather we ended up looking like we'd gone for a swin in our clothes. Let's leave that picture there shal we! We eventually won, but at the cost of me!

As we had a lot of court to cover, the cadet tactic was obviously to hit it into the space. My tactic, run like a mad man and then dive to try and keep the ball up allowing my team to recover. Which is fine until I decided to land on my side. It now hurt like hell, nothing's really broken, just bruised. My left arm is also really stiff and it hurts to move anything on that side. I've been told it should get better by mid week. So in the meantime I'm sleeping on my rightside. ;-)

Thurday night was T'ai Chi and we were holding a demonstration to try and attract more people. All of the more senior students gave individual demonstrations ( alot of it was new to me as well) and all I can really say is wow. The most senior student went through about 30 different sword forms consecutively. The sword was a real one as well. It was a perfect example of why T'ai Chi is also sometimes called a form of dance.

And Sunday there is a ceremony at York minster to celebrate the 85th anniversery of the Womens section of the Royal British Legion. There's even royalty in attendence. More info here. The ATC have been asked to attend to help with proceedings, so I'm going along to help supervise. Unfortunately I need to be in best dress (shirt and tie + jacket) and I'll be outside most of the day!

I wish suits came with inbuit air conditioning. [/doh]

Back Again, Finally

Big Apologies folks! I'm sorry I've not been about for awhile. This has been due to circumstances completely (well nearly completely beyond my control). My only source of the internet died last week. It was a rather painful death in I.T speak, starting with lots of crashes and delightful windows pop-up which askes you to send an Error report back to Microsoft. I saw that so many that if I actually decided to "Send" any they'd have probably recieved an essay.

The fault was eventually traced to faulty memory. Both sets of chips if you can believe it! I don't know what I did to upset them, but it couldn't be just one, not with my luck. But then it get's worse, I've had to reinstall Windows as well, because certain essential files have been corrupted and the bleedin thign would no longer boot. That coupled with having to re-install other bits and pieces has kept my laptop down for a number of days.

I've not been at work to get on the net either. I took the Friday/Monday off work so I could go visit friends in Cumbria, leaving the laptop on it's sickbed in the meantime. They actually live in Whitehaven as they both work at Sellafield. They actually got married a couple of years ago and the last time I saw them was at the wedding, so it was good to be able to catch up. Lots of our other friends from uni were also there so it was quite the gathering.

Somehow considering the location, there wasn't a drop of rain, or even a cloud in the sky. Plus being on the coast, there was a lovely sea-breeze which enabled us to stay outside most of the time without becoming a sweaty mess! Of course we also had the obligatory BBQ and stayed up until 2am playing poker. We didn't plan on the game taking that long, it just never seemed to finish. Luckily we had a large supply of chocolate muffins (and alcohol for those who were drinking).

Here is everybody posing for the obligatory "group" shot!


From Left to right:
Mark & Hannah (who were our hosts), Andy, Phil, John, Jen, Will

I finally got my laptop running on Tuesday night, so it's going to take me a while to catch up with everybodies blogs. So please be patient. However I now suspect my washing machine is broken (it takes 3-4hours per wash) and it's 2 months out of warrenty. I don't think I'm going to be able to fix that one myself unfortunately.

Bugger!

When Week's Go Bad!

Next on Fox after C.S.I Norfolk. In tonight's C.S.I. Grissom is called to a cock fight where one of the competitors has died in mysterious circumstances and is revealed to be a rooster!

I nearly broke one of my own rules about blogging last night. I've always said to myself I'd never blog when depressed. But last night i came in in such a state I was sorely tempted to share the mood. Luckily general apathy prevailed and you were spared the melodrama. After having slept on it I'm now in a much better mood.

Let's just say I haven't really had a good week. At one point I was working on top of the incinerator in the middle of the day and the temperature up there was 45 - 50 C. I was not a pretty sight after coming down from there. The job was also very problematic. I left site late on thursday had a horrendous journey back. Coming back to an empty house was basically the final straw.

Let's leave it there shall we...

So what about today. Well the day started brightly, I got a nice parcel containing a new mobile phone to replace my old one which is working when it feels like it. I also got a letter which succeeded in bringing me back down to earth. The envelope was stamped with the mark of the Cambridge NHS Primary CAre trust.

It seems that the doctor who I used to be registered with back in St. Neots has been sent to prison for false accounting of patient records. So I've got to make an appoitment to see a healthcare professional and my current doctor to go through my current records from that time and basically check there accuracy. The letter started "You may be aware..." and then went on to describe the situation. My first thought was "I damned well wasn't aware..." (the swearing was less casual than that!).

And of course there was a phone call from the incinerator I'd been to earlier in the week! Everything was working as it should, but they didn't seem to think so. I like the guy, but he so does my head in at times.

I think it'll be safer if i just stay indoors this weekend.

Thought for the week: Being British is living in a country where Pizza and Chinese food arrives quicker than an Ambulance.

Off on my Travels Again.

Yep,

It's that time of year again. Work has run out of engineers again, so it me (as the next in line) to be out and about nex week. This time I'm going to that great UK urban centre - Ipswich. Yes until Thursday I'm going to be working in the "not so far" east next to a huge incinerator on one of the hottest weeks of the year.

Fun.

Why can't we (humans) come with air conditioning. With all my safety kit on (boots and hard hat + flourescent Jacket) I think I'll emerge from the plant on Thurday one big sweaty mess (sorry for that picture).

Would you also believe how long it's taken me to write such a small post? We're currently in the middle of a thunderstorm and my interenet connection is currently the virtual Yo-Yo.

Sigh

(Un)Crowded House

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening* folks...

... let me just get this out of my system. ENGLAND!!!!!! WOOOT!!!!!!

Ahem! There, that's enough of that. Apart from the obvious, what else happened this weekend. Well after being totally annoyed by my camera the last time I tried to use it (long story short, the battery lasts about 30 secs) I spotted a reasonably good deal on a camera, while shopping on Saturday. Never been one to resist, I promptly loitered around the shop until i'd convinced myself it was a worthwhile purchase and then bought it. I'm determined to get some use out of this camera so I thought what better way to start then to take some pictures of my house to show you guys.

I've actually lived in the house for over a year, but I know most of you haven't actually seen it, so here's your chance...

This is obviously the front of my house (the one on the left). As you can see the front lawn slopes away in 2 directions from the front door. It causes me no end of problems to cut so i'm going to turn it into a tiered garden instead as soon as I decide on the how.

This is the back garden. Yes the grass is turning yellow, but i hope to revive it soon. Again, the garden slopes down from the back door (that's the kitchen as well). Now you know where this blog get's it's name. Let's go inside...

This is the front room. I was playing about with the camera's indoor setting and hadn't quite got the hang of it by this point. And finally...

The kitchen. Not alot to see here. I'm actually stood in a vast empty corner of the kitchen tot ake this photo. Eventually I'll put a table and chairs in here so that it can double as a dining area. But with it just being me here at the moment, I've had no real need for a table. So as you can see it's a reasonably sized 2 up, 2 down (although you'll have to take my work on the 2 up part). It was a bit untidy upstairs so you'll have to wait until i show you that.

For me living here for over a year has taken some getting used to. Having lived with my parents for a year before moving out again it was a bit of a shock on having to do everything again. It's especially hard to find time to get everything that I would like to so around the house done. So that's my house, hopefully someday you guys will be able to see it in the "brick" as it were.

*ignore as appropriate.

Hmmm, The Force is Strong With This One.

I have now been doing T'ai Chi for a month know and last week I finally managed to meet the head instructor last week. He was VERY impressive. Not in the way that Arnold Schwhateverhis nameis in his action movie days. No, this guy is definately impressive in the Yoda mould. It doesn't help that he physically resembles Yoda a little. He's short with thining hair and definately speaks in riddles.

And last week he demonstrated the use of life energy or 'Chi' as it is a fundamental part of Daoist T'ai Chi, which is the type of T'ai Chi. Up until now everything we have been doing has been to "improve our health and wellbeing" which is also to improve the flow of 'Chi' around the body. The demonstration was how you can use your Chi as part of the arts. This included the demonstration of 4 huge guys (2 on each arm) attempting to bend his arms, while he tried to prevent them. That is to bend them at the elbow (not actually to bend his arm in places it ain't meant to).

If he tensed his muscles, they managed to bend his arms. Buth then he decided to use his Chi instead. This time they couldn't bend his arm at all. He could even still wiggle his fingers to indicate that his arm was relaxed. That wasn't the most astonishing bit. He stood about 3 metres away from an opponent and managed to unbalance them, without actually touching them. Even when they were prepared for it. I half expected to turn round and see him standing on his head balancing rocks.

Of course, I can't do any of that stuff yet, but it makes you wonder if sometimes were too quick to dismiss somthing without seeing it in action first.

Not much else has gone on over the last week. Except that a decision has been over the front garden. I'm going to dog it up, level it out into tiers and plant some plants and shrubs along each tier. I just need to decide what's going on each tier...

...decisions, decisions.

Thought for the Day: You can be loved by many, but can you only love one in return?

The Fugitive!

... we interupt your usual programming to bring you this breaking news!

Sorry folks my blog of the weekend has been pushed to one side. For those of you interested it consisted of lots of football and lots of cheesecake. What more can a guy want?

Today, or specifically this evening has been much more interesting. After getting back from work I wanted to go out for a walk, but it was way too hot. So I decided to make dinner and then go out when it was cooler. I made a real hash of tea. Not the edible kind either. I started making pasta sauce, before realising I had no Pasta, so i substituted noodles. Then he lid came off the salt as i was cooking the noodles. I thought I managed to catch most of it, but I was wrong. The tomato noodles just tasted of salt in the end and i was basically just left with the salad on my plate.

I should have known it wasn't going to be my evening and stayed indoors after that.

Instead I knew I had a letter to post so I decided a walk to the postbox was in order, followed by a quick walk around the public footpaths through the fields that circle the village. As I walked to the post box i noticed a helicopter circling the estate. As it went overhead I noticed it was a police helicopter. As I walked through the village I noticed it circled a couple more times then disappeared.

That wasn't the last time I would see it!

I walked through the village to the fields and noticed a sign for a path I had't noticed before. Curious, I walked down he public footpath only to realise it ended at a fence and didn't seem to go anywhere. As I walked back across the field the helicopter appeared overhead again. As I walked back through the village I noticed it appeared to be circling again.

Not that I'm paranoid, but it wasn't long before I realised it was circling me! So it came as no surprise when a policecar suddenly pulled to a halt in front of me a couple of minutes later. IT turns out they were looking for someone and after seeing me walking across the fields they thought I looked very suspicious.

After a few questions everything was straightened out, but I felt pretty embarrassed about it all. But hat could I have done. I'm out for a walk and end up being mistaken for leeds most wanted.

I half expect to see my face on a wanted poster attatched to a lampost. Underneath is the phrase "Dead or Alice".

Thought for the Day: True faith must be earned. Hope however, should always be there.

Parlez vous anglais?

I'm back.

Yep that's right, I've managed to survive my sojurn to the French heartland. I flew from Leeds to Paris to rendezvous (not quite out of french mode yet) with an Engineer who was driving down from Belgium. As you would expect it takes an Englishman and a Belgian to sort out problems of French making. The drive from Paris to Niort (a town about 50Km east from La Rochelle) took us about 5 hours. We then discovred that our hotel wasn't in the town, but in a village about 15 minutes outside the town.

The village was called Coulon and basically consisted of restaurants and hotels. There are so many restaurants taht they all open on different days of the week so as to gaina decent amount of trade on an evening. I can imagine the village is heaving in the middle of summer. The hotel was right by the riverfront and as such we were treated to the local wildlife most mornings/evenings. Oh and the local wildlife appeared as speciallities in the local restaurants.

I managed to resist the temptation to try frogs and eels all week. I don't know how!

Overall the place was very nice and the job wasn't too difficult. I only had 7 people (and a limb) to cremate over the 3 days, so in between testing the machine and cremating there wasn't really much to except sit outside in the sunshine and read. It was a successful and fairly enjoyable trip, up until the Friday.

I was due to fly back to Leeds from Paris at 2pm on Friday. Unfortuantely the French were indulging in there favourite pasttime of striking that day. This time it was the Paris metro workers. This forced a lot more traffic onto the already overused ring road system. It took us 4 hours to get to Paris and another 2 - 2 1/2 hours to make our way around it! I was knackered and I hadn't even got on the aircraft.

I managed to make it home in Leeds by 4pm. Having managed to survive the rigours of French drivers and french food and yet to face the ultimate chalange for the week. Getting up the energy to unpack my cases and then repack for the weekend...

...to be continued.

Observation of the week. In all my travelling France over the week I only ever so 1 field of cows and 1 field of sheep!

Twice the Fun!

Hi folks, 2 posts in one week. Who'd have thought I'd have had such an interesting week!

I mean we found yet more pornography on moving the filing cabinets in the office. The man was prolific if nothing else. But that's not the most exciting thing.

What! I hear you cry Something more exciting than more hidden pornography?

Indeed. For on Thursday I had my first Tai Chi lesson. That's right after 2 years of moping round my house I have decided it was time to get fit again. Having not done anything for over 2 years I decided something like Tai Chi would be i nice ay to bring my fitness levels back up again. It is also supposed to be a great way to relax, which in my opinion is always a bonus.

What I didn't know was that it actually sits between inbetween Surfing & Downhill skiing in terms of fitness levels required. I had a good sweat on by the end of the session I can tell you (I'm sorry TMI). I really enjoyed it as well. The sequence of movements you've seen in that BBC logo is Tai Chi. There are 140 movements in total to that sequence and you are supposed to master 10 a year. There's alot more to it than just the forms though and I'm definately going back there next week.

I didn't understand most of it however. There's lots of philosophy and the "harnessing of energy" which i think it will take me awhile to get my head around.

I'll tell you more when i can explain it better!

Thought for the day: Look away to see. As all thruths lie in shadow!

Love What You do!

Hi folks!

Sorry it's been longer than usual it's been a rather hectic 12 days or so. I won't bore you with tales from work last week! Trust me, they're not as fun as tales from this week! But I'll instead start with the weekend.

This weekend saw my visit Guy and Charly and to wish Guy a Happy Birthday. Unfortunately it rained just about all weekend, but somehow guy managed to find the only dry hour in which to fire up his BBQ. That's what I call faith. Guy and Charly are always brilliant hosts, and I always enjoy going round to visit. Both Charly and Del had their bumps and with all the children running around, it was very hard not to get broody. If such a thing is possible for blokes.

Okay, I'll admit here and now that I voted fot Lithuania in Eurovision. But that's only because Del made me ;-). I'm glad Finland won, that's who i would of voted for if i wasn't already casting Del's vote for her!

Monday found me at the Manchester Academy with Simon and Dave to see The Divine Comedy. This was the first time I have seen them live in concert. To coin a phrase "They were Ace". I just love live music and for bands like the Divine Comedy they put so much energy into there concerts, that you can't help but like them. On the strength of the new stuff I'll definately be buying the new Album.

Tuesday, I became a removal man for the day. We've been threatening to take over the office next to ours as we need more space for testing. So feeling far too energetic myself and my line manager launched into a big clear out of the office next door. It's previous occupant had retired 6 months ago and had been with the company 40 years! He was also a big hoarder off paperwork and tools and equipment. We through out over 15 bin bags worth of stuff went through hundreds of files in an effort to clear this place out. We also threw out the desk and a few filing cabinets as well.

To prove how much of a hoarder he was we actually found his porn mag collection from 1972 in the bottom of one of his filing cabinets. I don't know if he was still reading it up until he retired. I hope not.

I don't know what it is about my job, but I get some great stories out of it!

Thought for the day: If you don't know if you should do something, ask yourself the question. If you have an argument with yourself chances are it's not a good idea!

Maybe they prayed to the wrong god?

How do you determine if something is an "act if god"? I mean most insurance policies strictly state that they do not cover acts of god and then they go on to list what they call an act of god. This leaves the owner of the insurance with a choice. Either they pay a hefty charge just in case they anger the almighty, or you start atteding religious worsdhip in the hopw that appeases the higher powers into bring down there venegnce on your neighbours instead. It's brainwashing by the backdoor. I can't believe Dan Brown missed it when he wrote The Da Vinci Code.

Unfortunetaly one of our customers was on the wrong end of an act of God this week. A very high powered lightning bolt struck the bulding on the Tuesday night. The lightning conductor did it's job and tried to direct the bolt away safetly until it was blown up by the sheer power of the thing. So the lightning found the next easiest place to reach the ground. Our machines! It blew apart most of our electronic equipment and actually melted bits of plastic on the machines. It finished off by frying electrical conduit and telephone line.

As you can imagine this put all of our machines out of action. Not a good thing, so I was sent out alst minute to try and get the thigns working again. This was actually quiet scary. Not becasue we couldn't get them repaired, that's the easy part. No, if this was an act of God (as the insurance company would surely claim) would I be incurring god's wrath by undoing his (or her) handywork.

I tellyou now I was sorely tempted to sacrifice a goat out on the lawn as an act of appeasement. But I have yet to do so, instead I'm just avoiding standing on any hills during bad weather and hope it's enough!

Thought for the day: If life and death are two sides of the same coin, whose hand is tossing it?

Let's Get Ready to Rumble

Nothing to do with Ant and Dec I assure you!

Decided for the first time this year to mow my lawn on Wednesday. As always Me Vs. my lawn turned into an epic struggle. The first round went to me as I easily managed to cut the front lawn and the little bit of grass down the side of my house. Then the lawn struck back in a completely underhanded and downright sneaky manouver it conspired to break the spool on my strimmer. So at the moment the lawn is nice and short bordered around the edges by 3 inch high grass. So I called the first round a draw and decided to cut the back garden on the Thursday evening!

Thursday evening came and I was determined to show the bark garden no mercy. The garden put up a valient effort. Some of the grass in places was rediculously tall and it grows so much thicker in the back garden and the front. It's not a large grarden by any stretch of the imagination, but it put up one hell of a fight. I had to empty the bin on the mower half a dozen times. It was definately good exercise and my arms ached when I'd finished. Of course I couldn;t do the edges. I've so far been to 3 DIY stores and half a dozen other stores and none of them sell the spool for my type of strimmer. Every other type, but not mine.

So my garden looks at me and grins, knowing that for now it has won. I'm confident I've got it's measure. I've found a supplier who can supply me with the strimmer part next week and looking at my front lawn it's going slightly yellow so it may not last the summer. Even then I'm considering turning the front lawn into a garden instead.

I know I'm going to have the last laugh!

Thought for the day: In a world full of questions. Do we seek answers without first knowing the question?

The Media - A Rant

Yes unfortunately I feel the need to make a ranty post. In this case specifically about the English Media. Now I won't name any names in this, but those media outlets involved now who they are and...

... I'm beginning to sound like a headmaster lecturing to the whole school.

Anyway for me this whole thing started when the Football Association (FA) offered the Job of England Manager to Luiz Felipe Scolari. He, after some deliberation decided to turn the offer down. His reasons, were that he felt he couldn't live with the media attention (intrusion) that comes with the job. Of course the media jumped on this accusing the man of messing the country around and the FA of messing up the whole process completely. I felt this was wrong in 2 ways:

(i) The guy had only been offered the job. He has every right to turn it down. it should never have been seen as a "done deal"

(ii) The FA, for once have been completely transparent with the selection process. Going for who they feel is the best man for the job. I feel so sorry for them as they have avoided giving into public presure.

Then to prove Scolari's point. The day he turned it down and Steve Mclaren re-emerged as favourite one Tabloid news paper ran a "sensational scandal story" on poor Steve and he's not even been offered the job!

God's what a counry we live in. I'm all for freedom for the media, but I think we don't half make it hard for ourselves.

Thought for the day: Look before you leap, but you are allowed to close your eyes before you reach the bottom!

Let me Take you on a Journey of Site and Sound...

... you are leaving reality. Normal rules donot apply hear. You are entering a random blog!

*Shocking, no?*

Firstly a TV update. I still don't have mine back. I'm really glad I'm not paying for the repair. They've fixed it, but they seem to only be able to deliver it if they're passing within miles of the house on the way to another job. There's nothing else within 5 miles of my house!!! I finally managed to persuade them to drop it off at work (but they couldn't guarantee a day), on the proviso that I could guarnatee there would be somewhere to park!

*Jump*

Work has been hell for the last 30 hours of which I reckon I have worked the last 20 of them. I have ben asked to complete a piece of work, that the president of the compant has been sat on since february (for various reasons). It is needed for Friday and because it all rolls down hill the job finally landed on my desk. So I'm currently dodging the need for work by ranting. Anything to stop me from having to go back to it.

*Jump*

Her's a little thing to do next time our bored (or dodging work). Go to MSN search, you know, the one ou sometimes get when the webpage doesn't exist and search for "kinitawowi". I'll be interested know what people get as top search. I know I was surprised.

*Jump*

I need to mow the lawn

*Jump*

Middlesbrough are currently losing on aggregate!

*Jump*

Thought for the Day: Life is like living in a tumble drier. Warm, fuzzy and full of static!

Wherefore art thou TV?

I'm back. And I've come back to a house devoid of one thing, my TV. But more on this sad state of affairs later.

What's even sadder is that I had to leave LA. But let's focus on all the good stuff. The fact that i actually managed to go to LA in the firstplace, so let's have a nice recap:

Please don't shoot me if I have forgotten anyhting or missed anybody out. I'm sure between those of us who made it and blog you'll get the 411 on everything that happened.

Wednesday.
Took the train to Stoke-on-Trent meeting up with Dave in Manchester Piccadily. Once we'd disturbed Simon enough while he was trying to finish marking coursework we trapsed into Stoke to find an internet cafe with one specific purpose, to check-in. I would recommend this to anyone, if you're flying with BA (or any other airline that offers this service) use it. It saved us no end of time and effort at the airport (more later). Once we'd printed our tickets and sorted our seats it was back to Bally's for Chips and football, but as all 3 of us weren't drinking - no beer.

Thursday.
A day of travelling that sort of went like this:
* Taxi to Stoke station.
* Train to London Euston.
* Tube to London Paddington
* Heathrow Express to London Heathrow
* Heathrow to LAX via a late running BA 747.
* LAX to Cassy's via Cassy's Cabs.
I would recommend Cassy's Cabs to anyone as it was the most reliable transport we used all week ;-)

Friday
After working off 20 hours of travelling Cassy took myself, Simon and Dave for breakfast at IHOP (International House of Pancakes). I'll tell you what as well, if I went there for breakfast everyday you'd be rolling me around LA eventually. During the afternoon, while Cassy went to collect more of the UK population (Amanda & Caz), the rest of us came to the conclusion that American Cable suffers the same problems as Sky. Lot's of channels and nothing to watch, so we watched some pre recorded House instead until Amanda and Caz turned up. Then it was off to the Cheesecake factory for v. large meals and cheesecake to go.

Saturday.
Not needing as much time as the ladies, I didn't need to get up ridicuously early, but still ended up doing so anyway. I think my biggest chore was having to iron my shirt from the rigours of my suitcase! The wedding was a very beautiful affair! Having met Rian & Jazz on the way we proceeded to get lost on our first attempt at finding the Japanese gardens. WD'ers just can't read maps or signs! All weddings should have the weather/setting this one had.

The reception was held at a Japanese restaurant, which had one big surprise for us all. We had to cok our own food at the table. I think our table came with only one setting - Extra Crispy!

Sunday.
MMMM BBQ. The weather was good. The company was brilliant. Will, Annika and Rich joined the rest of at chez Cassy for grilled meat products, alcohol and lots of funny stories. Will, as well as being an excellent BBQ chef is a goldmine of stories and stuff. Unfortunately they had to leave us all too soon. So everybody (except the 2 non-drinkers) drowned there sorrows watching house. I suspect Simon doesn't want to hear the word Lupis again though!

Monday.
Another trip to IHOP and then Caz and Amanda had to leave us. Sob. When Cassy retured we immediatley decided to visit that great american institution - the shopping mall. I spent too much on books and DVD's. I also bought travel scrabble for the trip back (much to bally's consternation).

Tuesday.
A v. lazy day. Lots of Veronica Mars on DVD, posted my postcard back to the office and then off to the mexican restaurant for... guess what... a mexican. It was okay, but in my not so culinery opinion there was too much meat and not enough veg.

Wednesday.
Woke up early enough to finish watching Veronica Mars. It suddenly dawned on me that we'd managed to watch all of the first season in the time we'd been at Cassies. Unfortuantely it was all too soon time to leave. Cassie was a brilliant hostess all week, I mean she drove everybody everywhere we need to go. I really bet she's sick of the site of the road to/from LAX by now. So A big hug and thanks go out to Cassie. We left LAX on time at 3:35 pm and...

Thursday.
...arrived at Heathrow at 9:30am the next morning. Through some good fortune (and running between platforms) I made it back to my Parent's house in York by 4pm that afternoon. Only 16 hours or so after leaving LA. Hey, well maybe public transport can work.

I'm finally back at home after being Comotosed with Jet lag for 2 1/2 days. My TV is unfortunately away for repair (thankfully still in the warranty period) and so i'm using the old portable TV in the meantime. I wish it came with a zoom function...

Thought for the day:

We are ruled by Fear. Don't believe me? Or is it that you are afraid to admit I'm right!