Waltzing Along

Well, not really. I mean, I've never waltzed in my life, never really had the rhythm for it I suppose. Plus I suspect travelling by car is faster! Except if you live in central London, then maybe dancing along the pavement would be faster.

Anyway, as always happens at my place of work, there were very last minute decisions made on Friday. Which is why, very very early tomorrow (Monday) morning I will find myself on the road and on my way to Kings Lynn in Norfolk. Yes I'm heading to the Fens for a few (hopefully) days, until another engineer comes along to take over and I can get back to the office. The job itself isn't too tough, just babysitting a machine and making sure the operators know what they are doing before we rip there other machines out.

This is one week I definately don't want any problems. This project is already 5 weeks late and we can't afford anything else to rear it's ugly head. In fact things have so far gone so wrong that I'm half expecting Bigfoot to be the next problem. Well it is Norfolk after all!

But that's tomorrow, let's go back to this weekend. This weekend I was down in Manchester visiting Dave and Simon. But this weekend had a purpose, we went to see James in concert at the M.E.N Arena. This wasn't James Blunt or James Morrison, this was just 'James'. This was the 3rd time I've seen thenm in conert which puts them at the top of my concert charts.

The concert itself was spectacular. The music was brilliant (obviously) and the lighting effect weren't too shabby either. In fact the only thing that was wrong with the evening was that the people in front of us insisted on smoking, even though the arena itself is a no smoking zone. I can't wait until the ban on smoking in public places comes into effect in 2 months. Some people just make me very angry...

Grr...

Anyway, let's finish on a something a little on calming. For those of you who have no idea who James are here is one of my favourite songs. Here's hoping I'm back midweek.

Do You Remember Your First Time?

I do! "Naughty Thoughts Abound"

For the first time last week I was a complete and utter geek at work! It was my real first out pouring of geekiness. And do you know what? Some of my colleagues actually "got it" I was most impressed. Although it went completely over my bosses head, but you can't win them all.

Anyway, I got to play "House". We've had a problem with a project at work (I can't name it it's very politicaly sensitive) and this has been going on for weeks. Anyway different people have been involved over the past few weeks and various "problems" have been seen, but never been discussed at the same time. So I watched this project remotely for a few days to verify all these problems.

Can you see where this is going?

Yep, I made gratuitous use of the white board in my office. I wish I could take a picture of it show you, but it would require too much censoring. It starts with a big title at the top that reads; "***** Differential Diagnosis" (***** being the project name) and then in a different colour I list all of the observed symptoms (of which there are half a dozen). I even left room in case more symptoms appear. And finally I listed the outcome if the "symptoms" get worse, which basically amounts to "smoke, flames & bang".

When somebody stepped into the office and tried to add an extra symptom I even got to utter the immortal line: - "I told you,only I get to play with the markers". I had a big smile on my face for the rest of the day.

I've even decided to grow the "House Stubble" to commemorate this event.

And now for a quick bathroom update:

Well, I spent the entire weekend trying to sort out tiles. Firstly I removed all but 6 of the current tiles from the bathroom wall. Why keep 6? Well, the sink isn't actually screwed to the wall. Instead I've discovered it's only the sealent between it and the wal tiles that holds it up. It doesn't actually need the pedestal, time for plan B on that score.

I have also purchased there replacements. I'm going to tile the entire room in a 2 tone colour scheme. The picture isn't brilliant, but as you can see it's a nice shiny dark(ish) grey at the bottom. With a 2 tone border in the middle (really shiny) with a beige/light grey hybrid for the upper half. The tiles are bigger then the old ones, so I don't yet know how long it will take me.

Below is a current "Work in progress" from the bathroom. As you can see it's a bit of a mess, but my new taps have at least been fitted.

The radiator is also currently in and working, but I couldn't take a picture of that at the moment. I've had to prop the door open as I'm currently repainting the skirting board from an "off white" to an "actual white" while there are no tiles on the wall and no carpet on the floor. I don't have to be so careful. I've manged to do most of it, and I should finish the rest of the skirting board on Wednesday night.

Oh and until the tiling is finished I don't have a shower, so I either don't or I take a bath. Unless I get up earleir I don't have time for a bath before I go to work. I never realised I'd have such difficult decisions once I started this project!

Minimal Disruption

You know when someone used the phrase "minimal disruption" you should actually be focusing on the "disruptive" part rather than the word minimal. The plumber/electrician/all round good guy has started work on those jobs around the bathroom that I talked about last time. I took the day off work on Monday, just i case he needed anything after he had actually started on the job.

Well for most of Monday he had to turn off the electicity as he had to replace the utility box in the kitchen. The old one didn't have any spare RCD's (Residual Current Devices - a type of circuit breaker) so he had to fit a new one with more room. As he was fitting a new one he had to retest every other circuit in the house ( as each one had a new RCD). That took all of monday.

It is now Wednesday and he is currently almost halfway through (he's probably going to overun by half a day on the original estimate). The radiator has been fitted and he's done all of the wiring now. What's left is to fit the taps and the shower. Currently my house looks like this.

The Corridor from front door to bathroom.

My spare room/temporary workshop.

So what disruption have I left. Well, to fit the shower he actually has to remove the bath entirely from the bathroom to reroute some pipes (which means no showers until it's finished). And of course that probably means the water will be turned off as well. But it's all in a good cause. I also have Friday booked as a day off from work to make sure everything is finished correctly. Only when he's finished will I take some "work in progress" pictures.

So that's the week ahead, what about the week previous? Well Friday was obviously the 13th an while I had no bad luck personally 2 of my charges tried to injure themselves in spectacular fashion during our weekly sports session. Neither was injured seriously it just meant more paperwork for me to do.

On the Sunday I attended an all day T'ai Chi course held by our instructor for all of his classes in the area. It was actually part of an all week easter course that he was running, but because of other commitments I could only attend on the final day. God's I was sore after that session. I tweaked a muscle on the inside of my thigh as well (Steady girls!). It was my own fault, I stretched I bit to far during one of the exercises. Part of the lesson was spent on Massage techniques (which is part of our discipline) and I think that section went on longer than he intended, probably because our instructor was enjoying it so much. This is actually a good skill to have after doing a long session such as this one.

Work has been, well work. The French have been really quiet and instead the Swede's keep ringing/emailing with problems - mostly to do with Windows. Would you believe I think there is a langauge problem with English versions of Windows talking/networking with Swedish versions. I have also been using out remote monitoring system to watch a new site we are currently trying to install, that just doesn't seem to work. Everything points to the fact t should work, it just doesn't!

The rest of my working time has been spent on a monster Excel document. I'm running a few equations through tables of variables trying to simulate various conditions when it comes to controling the temperature of gas burners during certain conditions. It's more interesting than it actually sounds as it's part of our efforts to reduce the fuel consumption of our machines. It's all to do with environmental efficiency in todays global/political climate. All of the number's it is producing is just making my head spin.

I still have weeks when I do wish I could have a quick drink now and again. Speaking of drinking (and it's a bit disturbing how this link works), I'm thinking of organising a get together at my place in the mid/late summer region of this year. Yes I know it's been over 2 years since I moved in (hey with house parties it's better late than never). But after all this time I felt it's time I actually hoseted one, rather than just helped. I've attended so may other's that I definatelty have more than one favour to return. ;-)

Any who, I'm just casting the net to see who would be initially interested. I'm doing it here as I'm going to restrict numbers initially due to space issues. I also realise that for those London based people it's a long way for you to come, so don't worry if it's not possible.

Like I said, I'm just fishing for responses at the moment, like a little garden gnome by the side of a pond. ;-)

12 of 12 April

Another month, another 12 of 12. I never realised that I'd have at least 48 picture worthy moments so far this year, but there you go. Especially as they have to come in 12 picture bursts each month, but so far so good. I'll just not try to think of the other 96 I've got left to find somewhere this year. I can already see that May is going to be a doozy.

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1. 07:10 Approx

My bathroom (after I've had a shower, there'll be no nakedness in these pictures). This will be the last time I can take this picture of my bathroom. Isn't it just lovely and white (and boring), great for showing up the dust and grime. Next week I start refitting various items to make it more interesting (and more useful).

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2. 07:20 Approx

These are some of the currently selected parts that are going ot be used to refit the bathroom. Next week we will be replacing the standard radiator, with a proper towel warmer (to save space & have toasty hot towels) and fitting a new electric shower. The current shower uses hot water straight from the boiler (which is fickel in it's operation). The taps on the bath don't work so we're replacing them (and the basin taps to match). Eventually we'll be redoing the tiling and the floor as well.

Oh and the picture on the otherside of the box is a semi-clothed woman about to step into the shower. So the box is the other way round (I meant what I said earlier!)

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3. 07:25 Approx

Ouch! I just tripped over this on my kitchen floor. Why do I have a TV in the middle of my kitchen floor you ask? Well, this particular TV broke the other week. The picture became curved as if you were watching everything in a carnival mirror (straight lines were curved). This annoyed me so much that I bought I new TV. While fitting the new one myself and a friend moved the TV into the kitchen temporarily. Unfortunately they left before I could get there help to move it somewhere more suitable (it's darn heavy). So this morning it took it's revenge for being replaced.

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4. 10:00 Approx

My life on a PC screen. Since getting a new PC at work (plus an up to date copy of MS Office) I've started using Outlook to organise my life. All those colours represent different aspects of my life. The gold coloured one in the middle of my screen reminds me it's 12 0f 12 time. Unfortunately I can't take my PC home with me so I was stuffed for organising stuff outside of work. Until, thanks to the miracle fo Ebay I aquired the PDA you see next to it.

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5. 12:00 Approx

Just a little light reading here. Although I'm not part of process design in the company it doesn't hurt to know the detail as to how things work. I've had these books since uni (approx 5 years ago) and I still don't understand them half of what's in them.

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6. 16:00 Approx

After the various pictures of cremators I thought I would introduce you to another piece of "equipment". This is called a Cremulator (pron. crem-you-lay-tor not cream-you-lay-ta) as one of our american sales guys is fond of calling it. After you have been cremated you don't come out of the Cremator in that fine dust that you see in urns or in scatterings. Instead you come out in big lumps. A cremulator is used to grind those lumps up into the small white dust. The cabinet on the right is an "Ash Transfer Cabinet" where the ash from the cremulator is poured into an urn or other container.

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7. 17:10 Approx

So what lurks in the boot of my car. Well, it's not that big (snigger) so not a lot. The box on the right is my toolbox (I'll refrain from any more euphormisms), which lurks in my boot as it gets used at work and at home. Also visable is a small carton of engine oil (just in case) and a warning triangle. Out of shot is a GB sticker and headlamp deflectors which I need to put on the car for driving in Europe. The box contains my golf shoes (yes I try ot play golf), my clubs are actually at my parents house as I'm due to play them sometime in the near future. What's not in my boot is a bag that contains a sleeping bag and an air bed (+ pump) just in case of accomodation emergencies.

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8. 18:25 Approx

This is me just before I head off to my evening T'ai Chi class. I usually get changed in the office as there isn't really anywhere to get changed once I get to the class. We wear different coloured T-shirts depending on the aspect of training we are doing. What you can't see are the baggy black pants. The camera is propped up on a filing cabinet and wasn't pointed quite where I thought was!

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9. 18:55 Approx

This is Meanwood Church Hall. This is where the Thurday night T'ai Chi class is held, not much else to say really, except it was a bugger to find when I first joined.

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10. 20:20 Approx

This is a picture or a class in full swing (literally). Notice that we have changed from the blue to the yellow tops. This is because we are practicing the Yang arts, rather than the Ying Arts. On the far left is our senior instructor (and highest ranking practisioner outside of China) whose title is Lobar (lit. "Old man"). On the right is our class instructor (and Lobar's student) John. They are currently demonstrating the principle "The longest will become the shortest and the shortest will become the longest". This demonstated by John (with the long stick) failing in his attempts to touch Lobar, and yet Lobar can tap him everytime with the much shorter stick.

The website for the arts can be found here for those who are interested.

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11. 21:45 Approx

The obligatory night time shot. How many people going shopping at the supermarket at this time of night? More than I expected by the looks of this picture. Mind you who am I too talk, I'm just popping in to get some Banana's as I ate the last one this morning.

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12. 22:25 Approx

Ah back home to, to my latest gadget and the reason that TV in the middle of my kitchen floor decided to take it's revenge. This is my new TV (obviously) and it's nice and shiny and new (duh)! It seems much better than the old one (straight lines are actually straight) and the only really problem I have with it at the moment is the lack of power button. You can also just see my favourite gadget my Nintendo Wii, it's just so much fun, especially the sports games.

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Now I must confess that I have a template which I copy/paste to help me make these 12 of 12 posts. This section I have actually called "Postamble" I mean the bit at the beginning is "preamble" so why can't this be a post. Okay, so I haven't actually called the bit in the middle "amble" maybe if I did I could get away with it. Also, if you can pre-empt, does that mean you can post-empt? I'd like to see Doc Brown from Back to the Future explain that one.

If you have read all fo this and have no idea why I did this, then pop over here and read Chad's blog.

Insert Heroic Theme Here!

I'm going to break the first rule of being a superhero, I'm going to reveal my secret identity. Yes, it is me, I am me. No wait...hang on I've got that the wrong way round. You already know my secret identity, if you don't just look at the top right of this page. What you actually need to know is which superhero I actually am.

To be honest with you I don't know either (that's how secret it really is)! What I mean is over the past few days I've just been discovering my superpowers myself. I have the ability to break electical appliances and white goods in all sorts of subtle ways. In the past few days:

(i) I have found my washing machine leaks out of the door when it gets going on the spin cycle. I have to press the "Reduce Creases" button to slow the spinning and prevent my pots and pans floating away into the living room.

(ii) My laptop can only be having what can be described as "issues". Everytime I boot it up, a different problem presents itself. If it's not the antivirus complaining that windows has taken it's ball back,it is the screen flashing like a strobe light in an effort to try and induce a fit. I just have to keep rebooting until I get a problem I can work around. At present it is complaining that Realplayer has gone into anaphylactic shock, which suits me just fine.

(iii) While loading up a game on my Wii console I got the message "Save Data Corrupt, erasing data". You could probably here my screams of anguish echoing throughout the hills.

(iv) And then today, when my TV (for the 2nd time in 2 1/2 years) cannot decide what size screen it has, nor what shape a "rectangle" actually is. It has any number of different picture options and none of them fit on the screen. Then when you view something full screen the top of the screen has that funny curve in it. It looks like you're trying to watch the TV in a fairground mirror.

I suspect that I am currently generating massive electrical/magnetic fields that are causing all these problems. Maybe I should've of paid more attention when it was observed at Simon's Stoke WD party that when I wandered around the room, the TV reception changed. Hopefully I'll soon learn to control these powers and use them for good. I've earmarked the TV as the first thing that I need to replace, so it would be nice if I could get these powers under control. Can you imagine what would happen if I walked into a branch of Dixons?

TV Armageddon! Hey maybe that could be my alias?

In other, just as "Grr" news, I'm pissed off with my counterparts in the French office. Except of course I don't have a counterpart in the French office, otherwise they wouldn't keep annoying me. So much so, that I was ordered by some jumped up, pencil pusher in the French office to be available at 08:30 French time (07:30 UK time to provide remote support to a site. This is not just any site, a flock of sheep (minus the sheepdog) has more intelligence than the people on this site.

And to top it all off, it is so wrong for me to have this song constantly floating around my head.