I just love bank holiday weekends. They're the sort of weekends for making a list of things to do...
... and then ignoring it! So I've got to work through the list and blitz the house next weekend, I don't care. I was perfectly satisfied watching many, many episodes of House S2 with Simon, Dave and Amanda. Oh and there was plenty of junk food and birthday cake as well. The diet starts again this week me thinks.
I know a short while ago I complained about the standard of driving, so I thought I would instead share a couple of things that have made me smile while I've been driving recently.
The first thing actually demonstrated to me not just how bad driving standards were, but also how some people never really listened in Maths lessons (I hope Simon is doing his best to rectify this). On the M60 (the motorway that circles Manchester) there is a set of roadworks that I have to drive though in order to reach Dave's. To protect the workers they have set up SPECS cameras to enforce the 40 mph speed limit.
For those of you that have no idea what I'm talking about SPECS are "average" speed cameras. They don't check your speed as you pass, they actually work out your average speed between camera's to ensure you don't speed at all. There were signs all over stating that these were "Average" speed cameras. Yet I saw at least 2 people who ?I can only assume didn't know the meaning of the word. They sped past me at over 60 mph, slowed down when they saw a camera and then immediately sped up again as soon as they were past it.
If they had just paid more attention in maths they probably wouldn't have a nice brown envelope from Manchester Police landing on there doorstep about now.
The second made me chuckle, although I must admit I shouldn't really laugh at other peoples mis-fortune. As I left work on Tuesday evening I past 2 vehicles parked up on the hard shoulder. One was an armoured bank vehicle the other was a Renault Clio. I'm sorry to say the first thing that went through my head is "Oh my god somebodies tried to ram raid an armoured truck with a clio". Which is the same as trying to open a can of soup with a pencil sharpner.
For some reason I can't upload pictures at the moment otherwise I had some nice examples already lined up.
Anyway I'm now off to contemplate what to do on my list first this weekend...
... oh wait I'm going flyng with Cadets on Saturday and I've just got Alias season 2 through the post today (which is just one big cliffhanger). Maybe I better not make that to do list too big.
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
Thursday, August 24, 2006
Indiana Ellis & Danio Chan Anaelau
Dah De Dah Dah! Dum Dee Dum! etc...
... With the way I hum the Indiana Jones theme, I bet John Williams is turning in his swivel chair.
Yes it is I, having finally returned from the coast of deepest darkest Wales. It is an inhospitable place called home by those of the tribe knowna as the "Welsh". Danger (and speed cameras) lurks around every corner. On the last day of my journey the local canoe filling station (a Total garage) was raided right infront of the Premier Travel Inn mudhut provided for me by the
locals. From the aftermath I can only assume the purpotrators were rogue members of the tribe assisted by an elephant.
Unfortunately I had other pressing maters to attend to so I could not supply the locals with my skill at chastising the criminals with my bullwhip (Standard issue to all engineers). I had been called to this dark and distant land to help the tribe recover there sacred furnace so that they could re-start local funeral rites . This would have the added effect of the local shaman being able to get a good nights sleep without being woken up from the excesive chatter of all those lost souls.
There were many perils to overcome before the sacred fires were restored. But nothing my inate ability to look good wih my shirt half buttoned and my perminiant Jungle designer stubble couldn't fix. Only once did the fires require the caress of my bullwhip. The locals provided me reasonably well feed, only once did I go hungry when the tribes captured chef (only survivor from a plane crash) walked out into the jungle never to return.
Eventually the fires were lit and the day was saved (Cue rousing score). The locals cheered and I was rewared with milk, honey and the offer of local bride in gratitude. Sadly I had to decline the chief offer of the bride, her previous intended the local champion at the quaint sport of Rugby (Gavin I think his name was, pronounces Gaa-vin) didn't look best pleased. He also didn't look the type to stand there while I attempted to subdue him with my bullwhip!
So with a garland of odd yellow flowers around my neck, I mounted my steed (a game beast a breed of Volkswagen) called Touran and departed into the sunset. Trying to follow the ancient map which led me there in the first place, back to civilisation. The map itself remains a mystery, I acquired it from an odd looking shop where the owner had this gerbil on the counter. The Gerbil also seemed to have a fascination with stallone films. The only clue I have to the maps origin is the initials AA on the cover. Only once did I have to deviate from it's marked path ending up on the odd route known only as the M6 toll road, but that is another story...
Okay I admit, I may have spiced up week away just a little bit. It wasn't that interesting so I just couldn't resist it. Especially with what awaited me when I actually got home. I'd been away so long that it was definately like something out of indiana jones. The spiders had taken over! I was fighting my way through cobwebs to get into my bathroom. I kept looking over my shoulder as I walked down the stairs half expecting to see a boulder hurtling my way. I'll admit it now I
wasn't very humane to those spiders that I found. But there's this huge one that did manage to scuttle away into a dark corner where I couldn't reach him (he's freaking huge man) and I'm just waiting for him to make an appearence again...
... So I can scream like a girl and run for cover.
Oh and for those of you who are interested. That bit of the title that requries you to have ill fitting false teeth to say is welsh for "Fire of Saddness" according to those loving internet elves.
... With the way I hum the Indiana Jones theme, I bet John Williams is turning in his swivel chair.
Yes it is I, having finally returned from the coast of deepest darkest Wales. It is an inhospitable place called home by those of the tribe knowna as the "Welsh". Danger (and speed cameras) lurks around every corner. On the last day of my journey the local canoe filling station (a Total garage) was raided right infront of the Premier Travel Inn mudhut provided for me by the
locals. From the aftermath I can only assume the purpotrators were rogue members of the tribe assisted by an elephant.
Unfortunately I had other pressing maters to attend to so I could not supply the locals with my skill at chastising the criminals with my bullwhip (Standard issue to all engineers). I had been called to this dark and distant land to help the tribe recover there sacred furnace so that they could re-start local funeral rites . This would have the added effect of the local shaman being able to get a good nights sleep without being woken up from the excesive chatter of all those lost souls.
There were many perils to overcome before the sacred fires were restored. But nothing my inate ability to look good wih my shirt half buttoned and my perminiant Jungle designer stubble couldn't fix. Only once did the fires require the caress of my bullwhip. The locals provided me reasonably well feed, only once did I go hungry when the tribes captured chef (only survivor from a plane crash) walked out into the jungle never to return.
Eventually the fires were lit and the day was saved (Cue rousing score). The locals cheered and I was rewared with milk, honey and the offer of local bride in gratitude. Sadly I had to decline the chief offer of the bride, her previous intended the local champion at the quaint sport of Rugby (Gavin I think his name was, pronounces Gaa-vin) didn't look best pleased. He also didn't look the type to stand there while I attempted to subdue him with my bullwhip!
So with a garland of odd yellow flowers around my neck, I mounted my steed (a game beast a breed of Volkswagen) called Touran and departed into the sunset. Trying to follow the ancient map which led me there in the first place, back to civilisation. The map itself remains a mystery, I acquired it from an odd looking shop where the owner had this gerbil on the counter. The Gerbil also seemed to have a fascination with stallone films. The only clue I have to the maps origin is the initials AA on the cover. Only once did I have to deviate from it's marked path ending up on the odd route known only as the M6 toll road, but that is another story...
Okay I admit, I may have spiced up week away just a little bit. It wasn't that interesting so I just couldn't resist it. Especially with what awaited me when I actually got home. I'd been away so long that it was definately like something out of indiana jones. The spiders had taken over! I was fighting my way through cobwebs to get into my bathroom. I kept looking over my shoulder as I walked down the stairs half expecting to see a boulder hurtling my way. I'll admit it now I
wasn't very humane to those spiders that I found. But there's this huge one that did manage to scuttle away into a dark corner where I couldn't reach him (he's freaking huge man) and I'm just waiting for him to make an appearence again...
... So I can scream like a girl and run for cover.
Oh and for those of you who are interested. That bit of the title that requries you to have ill fitting false teeth to say is welsh for "Fire of Saddness" according to those loving internet elves.
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
R.I.P Driving Etiquette
I've always held off posting about this, but today was just the last straw.
Aren't driving standards just getting worse and worse. Not just that, but there is a general lack of common courtesy in driving nowadays as well. Take the example that annoyed me this morning. I was in a queue of traffic waiting to turn right at a roundabout. I eventually get to the front, but due to the amount of traffic coming round there I had to sit there for a minute to wait for a gap. In the meantime I car pulls up on my left without his indicators on (usually a sign they are going straight across).
I bet you can guess what happens next. Yep, as soon as there is a gap he shoots off, immediately crossing over infront of me as he actually wants to turn right like the rest of us. The fact he did it almost immedaitely means he knows where he is going. I sort of knew it was going to happen as well. I see it everyday at junctions and roundabouts, that there is just some sort of inevitability about it now.
We would never tollerate somebody queue jumping in a bank or a post office and I suspect most people wouldn't even consider it! So why do people think it's acceptable practice as soon as they get behind the wheel of a car. Are manners an "optional extra" with cars nowadays. And don't get me started on the use of indicators. They've been "optional extras" for what seems like ages now.
What scares me the most is I'm seeing more stuff which I would call downright dangerous. I recognise that mistakes can happen. I myself am not immune, but you can sometimes see it in what I like to call "driving body language" what people intend to do. It'd be interesting if somebody could come up with some sort of figures on this sort of thing (impossible I know).
I reckon the decline in diving standards would possibly occur around the sametime as the introduction of the speed camera and the reduction of traffic officers.
Thought for The Day:
What is Simplification? This definition is brought to you by the government's "Better Regulation Executive" (and copied exactly by the way):-
"Simplification means reviewing, reducing and removing regulatory burdens for the public, private and voluntary sectors, either through merging regulations in to a more manageableform or removing inconsistency within or between regulations. The aim of simplification is to reduce regulatory burdens wherever possible but without removing the necessary protections regulation provides, for the environment or workers, for example. An important part of the simplification process is to gather practical suggestions from those being regulated - businesses, voluntary and public sector organisations and individuals - that can inform government thinking on how to simplify regulation."
Simple eh?
Aren't driving standards just getting worse and worse. Not just that, but there is a general lack of common courtesy in driving nowadays as well. Take the example that annoyed me this morning. I was in a queue of traffic waiting to turn right at a roundabout. I eventually get to the front, but due to the amount of traffic coming round there I had to sit there for a minute to wait for a gap. In the meantime I car pulls up on my left without his indicators on (usually a sign they are going straight across).
I bet you can guess what happens next. Yep, as soon as there is a gap he shoots off, immediately crossing over infront of me as he actually wants to turn right like the rest of us. The fact he did it almost immedaitely means he knows where he is going. I sort of knew it was going to happen as well. I see it everyday at junctions and roundabouts, that there is just some sort of inevitability about it now.
We would never tollerate somebody queue jumping in a bank or a post office and I suspect most people wouldn't even consider it! So why do people think it's acceptable practice as soon as they get behind the wheel of a car. Are manners an "optional extra" with cars nowadays. And don't get me started on the use of indicators. They've been "optional extras" for what seems like ages now.
What scares me the most is I'm seeing more stuff which I would call downright dangerous. I recognise that mistakes can happen. I myself am not immune, but you can sometimes see it in what I like to call "driving body language" what people intend to do. It'd be interesting if somebody could come up with some sort of figures on this sort of thing (impossible I know).
I reckon the decline in diving standards would possibly occur around the sametime as the introduction of the speed camera and the reduction of traffic officers.
Thought for The Day:
What is Simplification? This definition is brought to you by the government's "Better Regulation Executive" (and copied exactly by the way):-
"Simplification means reviewing, reducing and removing regulatory burdens for the public, private and voluntary sectors, either through merging regulations in to a more manageableform or removing inconsistency within or between regulations. The aim of simplification is to reduce regulatory burdens wherever possible but without removing the necessary protections regulation provides, for the environment or workers, for example. An important part of the simplification process is to gather practical suggestions from those being regulated - businesses, voluntary and public sector organisations and individuals - that can inform government thinking on how to simplify regulation."
Simple eh?
Monday, August 07, 2006
Cliffhanger
I had a really busy week at the first half of last week. I only have myself to blame. 16 months of living in my house mean that it had already succumbed to that horrible little desease called "clutter". So what possessed me to try and sort it out I'll never know. I think I must of been suffering with something to think "Hey that sounds a good idea".
Now considering my only free evenings during the week are Mondays and Wednesdays I think I did rather well. Although I must admit I did cheat a little bit towards the end and some stuff was just moved wholesale into the Garage. And that was because it was much more work to put it in the loft where I originally wanted to put it.
It's my own fault. When I know I've got company coming I always go into a frenzy of cleaning. And yes Simon that includes you and Dave as well. Helen was visiting Leeds to see friends from uni, but she thankfully had time to stop by for the weekend. We had intended to try and go climbing sometime over the weekend, but the fact that the climbing centre kept ignoring my phonecalls put a stop to that idea.
So instead we settled in to watch Alias Season 2. Last time Helen visited, she brought S1 and we got about halfway through that. So when she left I immediately went out an bought it just so I could see the end. That show just seems to be one big cliffhanger. We only got half way through S2 this time so you can guess what I'm going to be doing this week.
There was also a good natured argument on what constitutes a hill. Specifically I think part of my walking route takes in a hill, but helen's not so sure. I think I'm going to be taking some photo's at somepoint to let you guys decide. We both agree there are too many thunderbugs on that route though! She eventually escaped back to the south of England on Sunday eveningwhere (apparently) they don't exist.
Next time I'm down there I think I should reintroduce a colony of them.
Now considering my only free evenings during the week are Mondays and Wednesdays I think I did rather well. Although I must admit I did cheat a little bit towards the end and some stuff was just moved wholesale into the Garage. And that was because it was much more work to put it in the loft where I originally wanted to put it.
It's my own fault. When I know I've got company coming I always go into a frenzy of cleaning. And yes Simon that includes you and Dave as well. Helen was visiting Leeds to see friends from uni, but she thankfully had time to stop by for the weekend. We had intended to try and go climbing sometime over the weekend, but the fact that the climbing centre kept ignoring my phonecalls put a stop to that idea.
So instead we settled in to watch Alias Season 2. Last time Helen visited, she brought S1 and we got about halfway through that. So when she left I immediately went out an bought it just so I could see the end. That show just seems to be one big cliffhanger. We only got half way through S2 this time so you can guess what I'm going to be doing this week.
There was also a good natured argument on what constitutes a hill. Specifically I think part of my walking route takes in a hill, but helen's not so sure. I think I'm going to be taking some photo's at somepoint to let you guys decide. We both agree there are too many thunderbugs on that route though! She eventually escaped back to the south of England on Sunday eveningwhere (apparently) they don't exist.
Next time I'm down there I think I should reintroduce a colony of them.
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