My To-Ignore List

I just love bank holiday weekends. They're the sort of weekends for making a list of things to do...

... and then ignoring it! So I've got to work through the list and blitz the house next weekend, I don't care. I was perfectly satisfied watching many, many episodes of House S2 with Simon, Dave and Amanda. Oh and there was plenty of junk food and birthday cake as well. The diet starts again this week me thinks.

I know a short while ago I complained about the standard of driving, so I thought I would instead share a couple of things that have made me smile while I've been driving recently.
The first thing actually demonstrated to me not just how bad driving standards were, but also how some people never really listened in Maths lessons (I hope Simon is doing his best to rectify this). On the M60 (the motorway that circles Manchester) there is a set of roadworks that I have to drive though in order to reach Dave's. To protect the workers they have set up SPECS cameras to enforce the 40 mph speed limit.

For those of you that have no idea what I'm talking about SPECS are "average" speed cameras. They don't check your speed as you pass, they actually work out your average speed between camera's to ensure you don't speed at all. There were signs all over stating that these were "Average" speed cameras. Yet I saw at least 2 people who ?I can only assume didn't know the meaning of the word. They sped past me at over 60 mph, slowed down when they saw a camera and then immediately sped up again as soon as they were past it.

If they had just paid more attention in maths they probably wouldn't have a nice brown envelope from Manchester Police landing on there doorstep about now.

The second made me chuckle, although I must admit I shouldn't really laugh at other peoples mis-fortune. As I left work on Tuesday evening I past 2 vehicles parked up on the hard shoulder. One was an armoured bank vehicle the other was a Renault Clio. I'm sorry to say the first thing that went through my head is "Oh my god somebodies tried to ram raid an armoured truck with a clio". Which is the same as trying to open a can of soup with a pencil sharpner.

For some reason I can't upload pictures at the moment otherwise I had some nice examples already lined up.

Anyway I'm now off to contemplate what to do on my list first this weekend...

... oh wait I'm going flyng with Cadets on Saturday and I've just got Alias season 2 through the post today (which is just one big cliffhanger). Maybe I better not make that to do list too big.

Indiana Ellis & Danio Chan Anaelau

Dah De Dah Dah! Dum Dee Dum! etc...

... With the way I hum the Indiana Jones theme, I bet John Williams is turning in his swivel chair.

Yes it is I, having finally returned from the coast of deepest darkest Wales. It is an inhospitable place called home by those of the tribe knowna as the "Welsh". Danger (and speed cameras) lurks around every corner. On the last day of my journey the local canoe filling station (a Total garage) was raided right infront of the Premier Travel Inn mudhut provided for me by the
locals. From the aftermath I can only assume the purpotrators were rogue members of the tribe assisted by an elephant.

Unfortunately I had other pressing maters to attend to so I could not supply the locals with my skill at chastising the criminals with my bullwhip (Standard issue to all engineers). I had been called to this dark and distant land to help the tribe recover there sacred furnace so that they could re-start local funeral rites . This would have the added effect of the local shaman being able to get a good nights sleep without being woken up from the excesive chatter of all those lost souls.

There were many perils to overcome before the sacred fires were restored. But nothing my inate ability to look good wih my shirt half buttoned and my perminiant Jungle designer stubble couldn't fix. Only once did the fires require the caress of my bullwhip. The locals provided me reasonably well feed, only once did I go hungry when the tribes captured chef (only survivor from a plane crash) walked out into the jungle never to return.

Eventually the fires were lit and the day was saved (Cue rousing score). The locals cheered and I was rewared with milk, honey and the offer of local bride in gratitude. Sadly I had to decline the chief offer of the bride, her previous intended the local champion at the quaint sport of Rugby (Gavin I think his name was, pronounces Gaa-vin) didn't look best pleased. He also didn't look the type to stand there while I attempted to subdue him with my bullwhip!

So with a garland of odd yellow flowers around my neck, I mounted my steed (a game beast a breed of Volkswagen) called Touran and departed into the sunset. Trying to follow the ancient map which led me there in the first place, back to civilisation. The map itself remains a mystery, I acquired it from an odd looking shop where the owner had this gerbil on the counter. The Gerbil also seemed to have a fascination with stallone films. The only clue I have to the maps origin is the initials AA on the cover. Only once did I have to deviate from it's marked path ending up on the odd route known only as the M6 toll road, but that is another story...

Okay I admit, I may have spiced up week away just a little bit. It wasn't that interesting so I just couldn't resist it. Especially with what awaited me when I actually got home. I'd been away so long that it was definately like something out of indiana jones. The spiders had taken over! I was fighting my way through cobwebs to get into my bathroom. I kept looking over my shoulder as I walked down the stairs half expecting to see a boulder hurtling my way. I'll admit it now I
wasn't very humane to those spiders that I found. But there's this huge one that did manage to scuttle away into a dark corner where I couldn't reach him (he's freaking huge man) and I'm just waiting for him to make an appearence again...

... So I can scream like a girl and run for cover.

Oh and for those of you who are interested. That bit of the title that requries you to have ill fitting false teeth to say is welsh for "Fire of Saddness" according to those loving internet elves.

R.I.P Driving Etiquette

I've always held off posting about this, but today was just the last straw.

Aren't driving standards just getting worse and worse. Not just that, but there is a general lack of common courtesy in driving nowadays as well. Take the example that annoyed me this morning. I was in a queue of traffic waiting to turn right at a roundabout. I eventually get to the front, but due to the amount of traffic coming round there I had to sit there for a minute to wait for a gap. In the meantime I car pulls up on my left without his indicators on (usually a sign they are going straight across).

I bet you can guess what happens next. Yep, as soon as there is a gap he shoots off, immediately crossing over infront of me as he actually wants to turn right like the rest of us. The fact he did it almost immedaitely means he knows where he is going. I sort of knew it was going to happen as well. I see it everyday at junctions and roundabouts, that there is just some sort of inevitability about it now.

We would never tollerate somebody queue jumping in a bank or a post office and I suspect most people wouldn't even consider it! So why do people think it's acceptable practice as soon as they get behind the wheel of a car. Are manners an "optional extra" with cars nowadays. And don't get me started on the use of indicators. They've been "optional extras" for what seems like ages now.

What scares me the most is I'm seeing more stuff which I would call downright dangerous. I recognise that mistakes can happen. I myself am not immune, but you can sometimes see it in what I like to call "driving body language" what people intend to do. It'd be interesting if somebody could come up with some sort of figures on this sort of thing (impossible I know).

I reckon the decline in diving standards would possibly occur around the sametime as the introduction of the speed camera and the reduction of traffic officers.

Thought for The Day:

What is Simplification? This definition is brought to you by the government's "Better Regulation Executive" (and copied exactly by the way):-

"Simplification means reviewing, reducing and removing regulatory burdens for the public, private and voluntary sectors, either through merging regulations in to a more manageableform or removing inconsistency within or between regulations. The aim of simplification is to reduce regulatory burdens wherever possible but without removing the necessary protections regulation provides, for the environment or workers, for example. An important part of the simplification process is to gather practical suggestions from those being regulated - businesses, voluntary and public sector organisations and individuals - that can inform government thinking on how to simplify regulation."

Simple eh?

Cliffhanger

I had a really busy week at the first half of last week. I only have myself to blame. 16 months of living in my house mean that it had already succumbed to that horrible little desease called "clutter". So what possessed me to try and sort it out I'll never know. I think I must of been suffering with something to think "Hey that sounds a good idea".

Now considering my only free evenings during the week are Mondays and Wednesdays I think I did rather well. Although I must admit I did cheat a little bit towards the end and some stuff was just moved wholesale into the Garage. And that was because it was much more work to put it in the loft where I originally wanted to put it.

It's my own fault. When I know I've got company coming I always go into a frenzy of cleaning. And yes Simon that includes you and Dave as well. Helen was visiting Leeds to see friends from uni, but she thankfully had time to stop by for the weekend. We had intended to try and go climbing sometime over the weekend, but the fact that the climbing centre kept ignoring my phonecalls put a stop to that idea.

So instead we settled in to watch Alias Season 2. Last time Helen visited, she brought S1 and we got about halfway through that. So when she left I immediately went out an bought it just so I could see the end. That show just seems to be one big cliffhanger. We only got half way through S2 this time so you can guess what I'm going to be doing this week.

There was also a good natured argument on what constitutes a hill. Specifically I think part of my walking route takes in a hill, but helen's not so sure. I think I'm going to be taking some photo's at somepoint to let you guys decide. We both agree there are too many thunderbugs on that route though! She eventually escaped back to the south of England on Sunday eveningwhere (apparently) they don't exist.

Next time I'm down there I think I should reintroduce a colony of them.

Now A Word From Our Sponsers

Hello,

It is now raining...Whoot...at last maybe this place will start to cool down. Maybe my grass will go from yellow, back to something resembling a sort of green colour. Maybe I'll get home to actually find I've got a moat. Wouldn't that be something? Mind you, if I've got a moat I'd have to go the whole hog and build a drawbridge and a portcullss to replace my garden gate.

But I ramble, mainly as I have nothing to post that hasn't already been highlighted elsewhere. I was on a big tidying kick yesterday and I'm still in tidy mode, so it behoves me to clutter the net even further. At the moment the net probably resembles a stack of magazines in somebodies garage. In amongst them is probably the one bit of info you'd actually want, but you can't bring yourself to throw any of them out. Mainly due to the fact that it's a long boring job actually sorting through them. Maybe the net could do with some webpage recycling centre.

So in celebration of the clutter of the net let us look at the most cluttered of places that have kept me amused over the course of the year so far, Google Video:

We have the end of the world!

The obligatory cute things!

The Comedy Fan-made Sci-fi trailer.

Something to spice up office life.

People with too much time on there hands.

Hamster.

We now return you to our regular programming!

Phew!

That title is so apt in so many ways. Firstly, the weather. And yes, I'm going to moan about this as well. It's just too damned hot. With my boss on holiday this week I have both office fans pointed in my direction and both windows open and I'm still roasting away. It probably does't help that I have a small electrical panel sat next to me for testing. That's like a small radiator in itself (although unsuprisingly it doesn't help in winter). What's worse is I get home knackered and find it hard to sleep because of the heat. I'm not asking for it to be cold. Just a drop of 5 deg C would be sufficient for me.

Secondly I dodged a bullet today. I finially managed to talk a swedish operator how to set up his PC. This has taken me 2 weeks and has caused me no end of grief. Mainly becasue I set the Pc's up for him before they were sent and 3 days after I get a phonecall with the immortal words "They don't work". Now I come to think of it, that another one that I should have added to the list of things were broken. If I didn't get it fixed today, I'd of had to fly out to Sweden next week for a couple of days. Not the sort of thing I reallly wanted to do at the moment. That would have been a really manic trip!

As you've probably guessed I survived Sunday. I would definately add "what a scorcher" to that phew, when talking about Sunday. There were absolutely hundreds of people attending and it was our job to supply water to everbody while they were outside. We also had to run errands for people with problems. I had to walk halfway across the city to meet a taxi carrying an item from a hotel that one of the ladies had forgotten.

To give you an idea of numbers here is a picture of all of the Womens Royal British Legion banner bearers outside York minster.

And here is the cadet's contribution to the banners used on the parade:

From left to right:

Cpl Fensome, Cpl Triffit and Cdt McManus.

Fensome and Triffit are cadets from my squadron (2487 Easingwold) and McManus is from York squadron. Fensome and McManus are carrying there respective squadron banners. Cpl Triffit was selected to carry the banner of the War widows. Everbody enjoyed themselves and was thoroughly exhuasted by the end of the day.

Cynical Thought for the day:If ignorance is bliss. Why aren't more people happy?

Ouch!!

Well you said to make the third breakage cheap! And who am I to ignore advice. Last night I broke the cheapest thing of all to break....

...me!

Don't worry it's not too bad, I'm just being melodramatic. I was playing Volleyball on the staff team against a team of cadets. Except that the cadets had a full team of 6 and the staff had a team of 3. So we were running around like our tails on fire trying to cover the entire court. In this weather we ended up looking like we'd gone for a swin in our clothes. Let's leave that picture there shal we! We eventually won, but at the cost of me!

As we had a lot of court to cover, the cadet tactic was obviously to hit it into the space. My tactic, run like a mad man and then dive to try and keep the ball up allowing my team to recover. Which is fine until I decided to land on my side. It now hurt like hell, nothing's really broken, just bruised. My left arm is also really stiff and it hurts to move anything on that side. I've been told it should get better by mid week. So in the meantime I'm sleeping on my rightside. ;-)

Thurday night was T'ai Chi and we were holding a demonstration to try and attract more people. All of the more senior students gave individual demonstrations ( alot of it was new to me as well) and all I can really say is wow. The most senior student went through about 30 different sword forms consecutively. The sword was a real one as well. It was a perfect example of why T'ai Chi is also sometimes called a form of dance.

And Sunday there is a ceremony at York minster to celebrate the 85th anniversery of the Womens section of the Royal British Legion. There's even royalty in attendence. More info here. The ATC have been asked to attend to help with proceedings, so I'm going along to help supervise. Unfortunately I need to be in best dress (shirt and tie + jacket) and I'll be outside most of the day!

I wish suits came with inbuit air conditioning. [/doh]

Back Again, Finally

Big Apologies folks! I'm sorry I've not been about for awhile. This has been due to circumstances completely (well nearly completely beyond my control). My only source of the internet died last week. It was a rather painful death in I.T speak, starting with lots of crashes and delightful windows pop-up which askes you to send an Error report back to Microsoft. I saw that so many that if I actually decided to "Send" any they'd have probably recieved an essay.

The fault was eventually traced to faulty memory. Both sets of chips if you can believe it! I don't know what I did to upset them, but it couldn't be just one, not with my luck. But then it get's worse, I've had to reinstall Windows as well, because certain essential files have been corrupted and the bleedin thign would no longer boot. That coupled with having to re-install other bits and pieces has kept my laptop down for a number of days.

I've not been at work to get on the net either. I took the Friday/Monday off work so I could go visit friends in Cumbria, leaving the laptop on it's sickbed in the meantime. They actually live in Whitehaven as they both work at Sellafield. They actually got married a couple of years ago and the last time I saw them was at the wedding, so it was good to be able to catch up. Lots of our other friends from uni were also there so it was quite the gathering.

Somehow considering the location, there wasn't a drop of rain, or even a cloud in the sky. Plus being on the coast, there was a lovely sea-breeze which enabled us to stay outside most of the time without becoming a sweaty mess! Of course we also had the obligatory BBQ and stayed up until 2am playing poker. We didn't plan on the game taking that long, it just never seemed to finish. Luckily we had a large supply of chocolate muffins (and alcohol for those who were drinking).

Here is everybody posing for the obligatory "group" shot!


From Left to right:
Mark & Hannah (who were our hosts), Andy, Phil, John, Jen, Will

I finally got my laptop running on Tuesday night, so it's going to take me a while to catch up with everybodies blogs. So please be patient. However I now suspect my washing machine is broken (it takes 3-4hours per wash) and it's 2 months out of warrenty. I don't think I'm going to be able to fix that one myself unfortunately.

Bugger!

When Week's Go Bad!

Next on Fox after C.S.I Norfolk. In tonight's C.S.I. Grissom is called to a cock fight where one of the competitors has died in mysterious circumstances and is revealed to be a rooster!

I nearly broke one of my own rules about blogging last night. I've always said to myself I'd never blog when depressed. But last night i came in in such a state I was sorely tempted to share the mood. Luckily general apathy prevailed and you were spared the melodrama. After having slept on it I'm now in a much better mood.

Let's just say I haven't really had a good week. At one point I was working on top of the incinerator in the middle of the day and the temperature up there was 45 - 50 C. I was not a pretty sight after coming down from there. The job was also very problematic. I left site late on thursday had a horrendous journey back. Coming back to an empty house was basically the final straw.

Let's leave it there shall we...

So what about today. Well the day started brightly, I got a nice parcel containing a new mobile phone to replace my old one which is working when it feels like it. I also got a letter which succeeded in bringing me back down to earth. The envelope was stamped with the mark of the Cambridge NHS Primary CAre trust.

It seems that the doctor who I used to be registered with back in St. Neots has been sent to prison for false accounting of patient records. So I've got to make an appoitment to see a healthcare professional and my current doctor to go through my current records from that time and basically check there accuracy. The letter started "You may be aware..." and then went on to describe the situation. My first thought was "I damned well wasn't aware..." (the swearing was less casual than that!).

And of course there was a phone call from the incinerator I'd been to earlier in the week! Everything was working as it should, but they didn't seem to think so. I like the guy, but he so does my head in at times.

I think it'll be safer if i just stay indoors this weekend.

Thought for the week: Being British is living in a country where Pizza and Chinese food arrives quicker than an Ambulance.

Off on my Travels Again.

Yep,

It's that time of year again. Work has run out of engineers again, so it me (as the next in line) to be out and about nex week. This time I'm going to that great UK urban centre - Ipswich. Yes until Thursday I'm going to be working in the "not so far" east next to a huge incinerator on one of the hottest weeks of the year.

Fun.

Why can't we (humans) come with air conditioning. With all my safety kit on (boots and hard hat + flourescent Jacket) I think I'll emerge from the plant on Thurday one big sweaty mess (sorry for that picture).

Would you also believe how long it's taken me to write such a small post? We're currently in the middle of a thunderstorm and my interenet connection is currently the virtual Yo-Yo.

Sigh

(Un)Crowded House

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening* folks...

... let me just get this out of my system. ENGLAND!!!!!! WOOOT!!!!!!

Ahem! There, that's enough of that. Apart from the obvious, what else happened this weekend. Well after being totally annoyed by my camera the last time I tried to use it (long story short, the battery lasts about 30 secs) I spotted a reasonably good deal on a camera, while shopping on Saturday. Never been one to resist, I promptly loitered around the shop until i'd convinced myself it was a worthwhile purchase and then bought it. I'm determined to get some use out of this camera so I thought what better way to start then to take some pictures of my house to show you guys.

I've actually lived in the house for over a year, but I know most of you haven't actually seen it, so here's your chance...

This is obviously the front of my house (the one on the left). As you can see the front lawn slopes away in 2 directions from the front door. It causes me no end of problems to cut so i'm going to turn it into a tiered garden instead as soon as I decide on the how.

This is the back garden. Yes the grass is turning yellow, but i hope to revive it soon. Again, the garden slopes down from the back door (that's the kitchen as well). Now you know where this blog get's it's name. Let's go inside...

This is the front room. I was playing about with the camera's indoor setting and hadn't quite got the hang of it by this point. And finally...

The kitchen. Not alot to see here. I'm actually stood in a vast empty corner of the kitchen tot ake this photo. Eventually I'll put a table and chairs in here so that it can double as a dining area. But with it just being me here at the moment, I've had no real need for a table. So as you can see it's a reasonably sized 2 up, 2 down (although you'll have to take my work on the 2 up part). It was a bit untidy upstairs so you'll have to wait until i show you that.

For me living here for over a year has taken some getting used to. Having lived with my parents for a year before moving out again it was a bit of a shock on having to do everything again. It's especially hard to find time to get everything that I would like to so around the house done. So that's my house, hopefully someday you guys will be able to see it in the "brick" as it were.

*ignore as appropriate.

Hmmm, The Force is Strong With This One.

I have now been doing T'ai Chi for a month know and last week I finally managed to meet the head instructor last week. He was VERY impressive. Not in the way that Arnold Schwhateverhis nameis in his action movie days. No, this guy is definately impressive in the Yoda mould. It doesn't help that he physically resembles Yoda a little. He's short with thining hair and definately speaks in riddles.

And last week he demonstrated the use of life energy or 'Chi' as it is a fundamental part of Daoist T'ai Chi, which is the type of T'ai Chi. Up until now everything we have been doing has been to "improve our health and wellbeing" which is also to improve the flow of 'Chi' around the body. The demonstration was how you can use your Chi as part of the arts. This included the demonstration of 4 huge guys (2 on each arm) attempting to bend his arms, while he tried to prevent them. That is to bend them at the elbow (not actually to bend his arm in places it ain't meant to).

If he tensed his muscles, they managed to bend his arms. Buth then he decided to use his Chi instead. This time they couldn't bend his arm at all. He could even still wiggle his fingers to indicate that his arm was relaxed. That wasn't the most astonishing bit. He stood about 3 metres away from an opponent and managed to unbalance them, without actually touching them. Even when they were prepared for it. I half expected to turn round and see him standing on his head balancing rocks.

Of course, I can't do any of that stuff yet, but it makes you wonder if sometimes were too quick to dismiss somthing without seeing it in action first.

Not much else has gone on over the last week. Except that a decision has been over the front garden. I'm going to dog it up, level it out into tiers and plant some plants and shrubs along each tier. I just need to decide what's going on each tier...

...decisions, decisions.

Thought for the Day: You can be loved by many, but can you only love one in return?

The Fugitive!

... we interupt your usual programming to bring you this breaking news!

Sorry folks my blog of the weekend has been pushed to one side. For those of you interested it consisted of lots of football and lots of cheesecake. What more can a guy want?

Today, or specifically this evening has been much more interesting. After getting back from work I wanted to go out for a walk, but it was way too hot. So I decided to make dinner and then go out when it was cooler. I made a real hash of tea. Not the edible kind either. I started making pasta sauce, before realising I had no Pasta, so i substituted noodles. Then he lid came off the salt as i was cooking the noodles. I thought I managed to catch most of it, but I was wrong. The tomato noodles just tasted of salt in the end and i was basically just left with the salad on my plate.

I should have known it wasn't going to be my evening and stayed indoors after that.

Instead I knew I had a letter to post so I decided a walk to the postbox was in order, followed by a quick walk around the public footpaths through the fields that circle the village. As I walked to the post box i noticed a helicopter circling the estate. As it went overhead I noticed it was a police helicopter. As I walked through the village I noticed it circled a couple more times then disappeared.

That wasn't the last time I would see it!

I walked through the village to the fields and noticed a sign for a path I had't noticed before. Curious, I walked down he public footpath only to realise it ended at a fence and didn't seem to go anywhere. As I walked back across the field the helicopter appeared overhead again. As I walked back through the village I noticed it appeared to be circling again.

Not that I'm paranoid, but it wasn't long before I realised it was circling me! So it came as no surprise when a policecar suddenly pulled to a halt in front of me a couple of minutes later. IT turns out they were looking for someone and after seeing me walking across the fields they thought I looked very suspicious.

After a few questions everything was straightened out, but I felt pretty embarrassed about it all. But hat could I have done. I'm out for a walk and end up being mistaken for leeds most wanted.

I half expect to see my face on a wanted poster attatched to a lampost. Underneath is the phrase "Dead or Alice".

Thought for the Day: True faith must be earned. Hope however, should always be there.

Parlez vous anglais?

I'm back.

Yep that's right, I've managed to survive my sojurn to the French heartland. I flew from Leeds to Paris to rendezvous (not quite out of french mode yet) with an Engineer who was driving down from Belgium. As you would expect it takes an Englishman and a Belgian to sort out problems of French making. The drive from Paris to Niort (a town about 50Km east from La Rochelle) took us about 5 hours. We then discovred that our hotel wasn't in the town, but in a village about 15 minutes outside the town.

The village was called Coulon and basically consisted of restaurants and hotels. There are so many restaurants taht they all open on different days of the week so as to gaina decent amount of trade on an evening. I can imagine the village is heaving in the middle of summer. The hotel was right by the riverfront and as such we were treated to the local wildlife most mornings/evenings. Oh and the local wildlife appeared as speciallities in the local restaurants.

I managed to resist the temptation to try frogs and eels all week. I don't know how!

Overall the place was very nice and the job wasn't too difficult. I only had 7 people (and a limb) to cremate over the 3 days, so in between testing the machine and cremating there wasn't really much to except sit outside in the sunshine and read. It was a successful and fairly enjoyable trip, up until the Friday.

I was due to fly back to Leeds from Paris at 2pm on Friday. Unfortuantely the French were indulging in there favourite pasttime of striking that day. This time it was the Paris metro workers. This forced a lot more traffic onto the already overused ring road system. It took us 4 hours to get to Paris and another 2 - 2 1/2 hours to make our way around it! I was knackered and I hadn't even got on the aircraft.

I managed to make it home in Leeds by 4pm. Having managed to survive the rigours of French drivers and french food and yet to face the ultimate chalange for the week. Getting up the energy to unpack my cases and then repack for the weekend...

...to be continued.

Observation of the week. In all my travelling France over the week I only ever so 1 field of cows and 1 field of sheep!

Twice the Fun!

Hi folks, 2 posts in one week. Who'd have thought I'd have had such an interesting week!

I mean we found yet more pornography on moving the filing cabinets in the office. The man was prolific if nothing else. But that's not the most exciting thing.

What! I hear you cry Something more exciting than more hidden pornography?

Indeed. For on Thursday I had my first Tai Chi lesson. That's right after 2 years of moping round my house I have decided it was time to get fit again. Having not done anything for over 2 years I decided something like Tai Chi would be i nice ay to bring my fitness levels back up again. It is also supposed to be a great way to relax, which in my opinion is always a bonus.

What I didn't know was that it actually sits between inbetween Surfing & Downhill skiing in terms of fitness levels required. I had a good sweat on by the end of the session I can tell you (I'm sorry TMI). I really enjoyed it as well. The sequence of movements you've seen in that BBC logo is Tai Chi. There are 140 movements in total to that sequence and you are supposed to master 10 a year. There's alot more to it than just the forms though and I'm definately going back there next week.

I didn't understand most of it however. There's lots of philosophy and the "harnessing of energy" which i think it will take me awhile to get my head around.

I'll tell you more when i can explain it better!

Thought for the day: Look away to see. As all thruths lie in shadow!

Love What You do!

Hi folks!

Sorry it's been longer than usual it's been a rather hectic 12 days or so. I won't bore you with tales from work last week! Trust me, they're not as fun as tales from this week! But I'll instead start with the weekend.

This weekend saw my visit Guy and Charly and to wish Guy a Happy Birthday. Unfortunately it rained just about all weekend, but somehow guy managed to find the only dry hour in which to fire up his BBQ. That's what I call faith. Guy and Charly are always brilliant hosts, and I always enjoy going round to visit. Both Charly and Del had their bumps and with all the children running around, it was very hard not to get broody. If such a thing is possible for blokes.

Okay, I'll admit here and now that I voted fot Lithuania in Eurovision. But that's only because Del made me ;-). I'm glad Finland won, that's who i would of voted for if i wasn't already casting Del's vote for her!

Monday found me at the Manchester Academy with Simon and Dave to see The Divine Comedy. This was the first time I have seen them live in concert. To coin a phrase "They were Ace". I just love live music and for bands like the Divine Comedy they put so much energy into there concerts, that you can't help but like them. On the strength of the new stuff I'll definately be buying the new Album.

Tuesday, I became a removal man for the day. We've been threatening to take over the office next to ours as we need more space for testing. So feeling far too energetic myself and my line manager launched into a big clear out of the office next door. It's previous occupant had retired 6 months ago and had been with the company 40 years! He was also a big hoarder off paperwork and tools and equipment. We through out over 15 bin bags worth of stuff went through hundreds of files in an effort to clear this place out. We also threw out the desk and a few filing cabinets as well.

To prove how much of a hoarder he was we actually found his porn mag collection from 1972 in the bottom of one of his filing cabinets. I don't know if he was still reading it up until he retired. I hope not.

I don't know what it is about my job, but I get some great stories out of it!

Thought for the day: If you don't know if you should do something, ask yourself the question. If you have an argument with yourself chances are it's not a good idea!

Maybe they prayed to the wrong god?

How do you determine if something is an "act if god"? I mean most insurance policies strictly state that they do not cover acts of god and then they go on to list what they call an act of god. This leaves the owner of the insurance with a choice. Either they pay a hefty charge just in case they anger the almighty, or you start atteding religious worsdhip in the hopw that appeases the higher powers into bring down there venegnce on your neighbours instead. It's brainwashing by the backdoor. I can't believe Dan Brown missed it when he wrote The Da Vinci Code.

Unfortunetaly one of our customers was on the wrong end of an act of God this week. A very high powered lightning bolt struck the bulding on the Tuesday night. The lightning conductor did it's job and tried to direct the bolt away safetly until it was blown up by the sheer power of the thing. So the lightning found the next easiest place to reach the ground. Our machines! It blew apart most of our electronic equipment and actually melted bits of plastic on the machines. It finished off by frying electrical conduit and telephone line.

As you can imagine this put all of our machines out of action. Not a good thing, so I was sent out alst minute to try and get the thigns working again. This was actually quiet scary. Not becasue we couldn't get them repaired, that's the easy part. No, if this was an act of God (as the insurance company would surely claim) would I be incurring god's wrath by undoing his (or her) handywork.

I tellyou now I was sorely tempted to sacrifice a goat out on the lawn as an act of appeasement. But I have yet to do so, instead I'm just avoiding standing on any hills during bad weather and hope it's enough!

Thought for the day: If life and death are two sides of the same coin, whose hand is tossing it?

Let's Get Ready to Rumble

Nothing to do with Ant and Dec I assure you!

Decided for the first time this year to mow my lawn on Wednesday. As always Me Vs. my lawn turned into an epic struggle. The first round went to me as I easily managed to cut the front lawn and the little bit of grass down the side of my house. Then the lawn struck back in a completely underhanded and downright sneaky manouver it conspired to break the spool on my strimmer. So at the moment the lawn is nice and short bordered around the edges by 3 inch high grass. So I called the first round a draw and decided to cut the back garden on the Thursday evening!

Thursday evening came and I was determined to show the bark garden no mercy. The garden put up a valient effort. Some of the grass in places was rediculously tall and it grows so much thicker in the back garden and the front. It's not a large grarden by any stretch of the imagination, but it put up one hell of a fight. I had to empty the bin on the mower half a dozen times. It was definately good exercise and my arms ached when I'd finished. Of course I couldn;t do the edges. I've so far been to 3 DIY stores and half a dozen other stores and none of them sell the spool for my type of strimmer. Every other type, but not mine.

So my garden looks at me and grins, knowing that for now it has won. I'm confident I've got it's measure. I've found a supplier who can supply me with the strimmer part next week and looking at my front lawn it's going slightly yellow so it may not last the summer. Even then I'm considering turning the front lawn into a garden instead.

I know I'm going to have the last laugh!

Thought for the day: In a world full of questions. Do we seek answers without first knowing the question?

The Media - A Rant

Yes unfortunately I feel the need to make a ranty post. In this case specifically about the English Media. Now I won't name any names in this, but those media outlets involved now who they are and...

... I'm beginning to sound like a headmaster lecturing to the whole school.

Anyway for me this whole thing started when the Football Association (FA) offered the Job of England Manager to Luiz Felipe Scolari. He, after some deliberation decided to turn the offer down. His reasons, were that he felt he couldn't live with the media attention (intrusion) that comes with the job. Of course the media jumped on this accusing the man of messing the country around and the FA of messing up the whole process completely. I felt this was wrong in 2 ways:

(i) The guy had only been offered the job. He has every right to turn it down. it should never have been seen as a "done deal"

(ii) The FA, for once have been completely transparent with the selection process. Going for who they feel is the best man for the job. I feel so sorry for them as they have avoided giving into public presure.

Then to prove Scolari's point. The day he turned it down and Steve Mclaren re-emerged as favourite one Tabloid news paper ran a "sensational scandal story" on poor Steve and he's not even been offered the job!

God's what a counry we live in. I'm all for freedom for the media, but I think we don't half make it hard for ourselves.

Thought for the day: Look before you leap, but you are allowed to close your eyes before you reach the bottom!

Let me Take you on a Journey of Site and Sound...

... you are leaving reality. Normal rules donot apply hear. You are entering a random blog!

*Shocking, no?*

Firstly a TV update. I still don't have mine back. I'm really glad I'm not paying for the repair. They've fixed it, but they seem to only be able to deliver it if they're passing within miles of the house on the way to another job. There's nothing else within 5 miles of my house!!! I finally managed to persuade them to drop it off at work (but they couldn't guarantee a day), on the proviso that I could guarnatee there would be somewhere to park!

*Jump*

Work has been hell for the last 30 hours of which I reckon I have worked the last 20 of them. I have ben asked to complete a piece of work, that the president of the compant has been sat on since february (for various reasons). It is needed for Friday and because it all rolls down hill the job finally landed on my desk. So I'm currently dodging the need for work by ranting. Anything to stop me from having to go back to it.

*Jump*

Her's a little thing to do next time our bored (or dodging work). Go to MSN search, you know, the one ou sometimes get when the webpage doesn't exist and search for "kinitawowi". I'll be interested know what people get as top search. I know I was surprised.

*Jump*

I need to mow the lawn

*Jump*

Middlesbrough are currently losing on aggregate!

*Jump*

Thought for the Day: Life is like living in a tumble drier. Warm, fuzzy and full of static!