Twelve of Twelve

Ding Dong merrily on high, it's Twelve of Twelve time again. I know it's july, but should be able to sing Carols all year round... well, maybe those that don't actually mention christmas. I mean we are now over halfway through the year, it's only just round the corner. Yes, it's a very big corner, but I have a v. good imagination. Which is also a curse, good imaginations mean you can conjure up images no matter what is described, which is not necessarily a good thing.

But hey who needs an imagination when we have pictures...

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1. 07:20 Approx

It's 99.9% finished. About a fortnight ago myself and my dad undertook the final task of fitting the floor to my new bathroom. It took us just under 2 days to fit it properly, so finally the upstairs of my house no longer looks like a building site. The only thiung that needs finishing is a little bit of edging where the bath meets the floor.

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2. 07:45 Approx
This is the lawn outside the front of my house. Well I call it a lawn, I don't know if it qualifies as such anymore. IT's more weeds and moss rather than grass. At least it's still vaguely green. It's also short as I managed to cut it last night before it rained.

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3. 07:46 Approx
This is my backgarden. As you can see I didn't get chance to cut this last night. If I'm not careful it'll become a Jungle before I turn around twice. Then I'll have to evict the gorilla's beforeI can cut it again.

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4. 08:20 Approx
A package arrived on my desk this morning, it contained this. It is a map of Belgium, Holland and Luxembourg. We have maps of the different countries we have customers in, on our walls. Except we realised that we didn't have one of Holland, which is odd as we are a Dutch company. So I went on ebay to remedy the situation. This is our second map as somebody pinched our first one!

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5. 11:25 Approx
This is my savior on warm days as the office doesn't have air conditioning. Unfortuantely the lead on it isn't very long so it sits quite close to my desk. Plus the only settings it has are:

1. Gale Force

2. Hurricane

3. Look out Dorothy I'm on my way to Oz.

If I have it pointed at me, all the bits of paper get blown around my desk. So it has to be pointed away from me and I just get the draught it creates.

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6. 12:00 Approx
It's medication time. This one pill allows me to have a meal without ti causing me too much pain later in the day. So I have to take it 3 times a day, preferably half an hour before meals. I have an alarm which comes on my phone to remind me as I have a terrible memory for such things. I also have an alarm that reminds me of twelve of twelve time as well.

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7. 14:30 Approx
I'm working int he workshop testing various bits of machinery this afternoon. This is a finsihed machine with all of it's painted panelling. Would you believe this is the most popular colour we sell. Just once I'd like to see one a more interesting colour. The most interesting one I have seen is painted cream, orange and brown, to match the room decor!

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8. 15:25 Approx
This is a coffin loading machine. It was designed by our French subsidury and does exactly what it says on the tin. It pushes coffins into the machine so the operator stay away from the hot chamber and also doesn't hurt there back.

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9. 16:30 Approx
Do you remember this? This is the anaimal machine fom my last twelve of twelve. Except it's much more further on than the last time you saw it. IT know has most of the electrics and the gas/air pipe work used during the combustion process. You'll notice it is a nice shade of dark blue. This is the standard colour for our incinerators.

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10. 17:30 Approx

This is my meal for this evening, our lovely canteen lady made the sandwiches for me as I knew I would be working late. It's a Thursday so I have Tai Chi this evening and I travel there straight from work.

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11. 21:05 Approx
The aftermath of another intense T'ai Chi session. This fine Chap is Frank one of the characters in the group. Lobar (our instructor) is in the background, he's not posing, but looking for his keys in his pockets. Let me tell you after tonight I was just one big sweaty mess.

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12. 21:45 Approx
This is the view from the bottom of the hill, rather than the top of the hill for once. It's also a view that is going to change in the near future. A company is proposing to install 80 metre high wind turbines on the moor opposite my estate. Now i'm not against wind turbines, but I'm interested to see how the landscpae is going to change in the near future when the turbines go up on the moor.

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Bonus Pic: HOT

13. 16:55 Approx

This is my bonus picture for this week. Unfortunately we didn't have any lit cremators in the workshop today so you have this! This is a gas burner which we use on our standard machine. It gives out a much bigger flame than your standard oven, the flames can reach upto 3ft long. They are cable of heating a machine up to a temperature of 900 Celcius and beyond (given enough time).

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And that's it for another month. That's 6 down, with 5 more to go (one was missed). Hope you've enjoyed it. Maybe one day I'll down one without pictures of cremators in it. It'll most likely be a weekend ;-)

If you have read all of this and have no idea why I did this, then pop over here and read Chad's blog.

I am Here!

A plane old title, that seems innocucous at first, but actually came to mind as I was thinking about something I watched the other day. It's just that it was the last line from one of my favourite anime films (this one) and I was reminded of it while scrambling round for titles for this post! (I originally had some joke about "I can't believe it's not butter".


Isn't funny how the mind works...


... Let me rephrase that isn't it funny how my mind works. ;-)


Anyway there has been quite a bit going on since my last post so let's play catch up.


Last week I was working on site, but with one small difference. The site was actually only 2 miles further away from my house than my office. So for once, I wasn't living out of a travel inn and could instead commute from home. Although the hours each day were still long and it would of been nice if someone else was cooking my evening meals. Oh and I say commute, on somedays I was actually closer to needing an inflatable dingy to reach my destination.


I was driving along a country road coming back from the crematorium and I was thinking to my self "Funny I don't remember this bridge being here?" thinking I was just crossing a swollen river. Then it dawned on me, there wasn't a river anywhere nearby it was actually 2 farmers fields that were under a few feet of water and if it wasn't for the stone walls either side of the road, then my car would have been under a few feet of water.


Yikes!


That wasn't the only stress caused by the rain last week. Part of the new installation was on the roof. Can you guess which muggins was on the roof for over an hour (in the Torrential rain - worthy of the capital letter) checking the electrical wiring when we discovered a problem? Yep that was me. I was wearing my full waterproof gear and I still came down looking like I'd gone for a swim with all my clothes on.


Trust me to be working on the roof, in a month that contains Glastonbury, Wimbledon and the British Grand Prix. It's obvious what the weather is going to be like!



Luckily there was no need for any weekend site work so instead I could devote yet more time to my bathroom! As they say in the movies "It won't be long now" and it won't. The floor is finally fitted. It took 2 of us most of saturday to fit the laminate flooring and it looks much better than I though it would, which to my mind is a definate bonus. We bought the flooring in boxes of 5 planks and it turned out I needed 6 to do the floor. Typical.

But then I had a brain wave and on Sunday we used the remainnig planks to create a matching panel for the side of the bath. So we are entering the final phase. All that needs to go down is the beading to go around the edge of the room (to hide the gaps) and it will be essentially finished. Okay so there will be a small amount of accessorising to do, but that'll be an as/when job.

Which means that with all of the dusty work over and done with, this weekend has become my summer cleaning weekend for the house. Everything is going to be sorted, recycled, dusted, cleaned, washed and generally tidied ready for company the following weekend.

Is it possible to crank up the excitement any further. Let's see shall we...

If you're wondering what has taken up the rest of my time in the last fortnight. Well I have finially applied to go back into uniform as part of the ATC. After filling out the forms (including a security questionnaire with the question - "Have a been part of any attempt to overthrow the legitament government of any country") I got a date for the next stage. An interview panel!

Which happened on Monday this week. The interview was scheduled for 8:45 pm, but didn't end up starting until 9:15pm. It is a panel of 3 senior officers frm the wing asking questions to assess your suitability to go back into uniform. I had applied to become an Adult Sergeant (the lowest adult uniformed rank) and so was asked standard interview questions (who, what, why) as well as the ATC setup and the dreaded "Scenario" questions.

I got:

(i) What would I do if someone came upto me and said they'd seen Joe bloggs taking £10 from the tuck shop?

(ii) What do I think of the Wing Alcohol Policy?

That 2nd one was a really toughie, but in the end...

I passed! Which means as long as my paperwork goes through (takes about 6 weeks), I'll shortly be wearing a uniform.

Needless to say there will be pictures of me i my uniform and the finished bathroom, shortly!

The Mobile Strikes Back

Again.

I keep getting phone calls from numbers I don't recognise. You expect the odd wrong number now and again, but I never thought my number was so close to other peoples.

I think the worst one was when my phone went off at 2am. I didn't answer it, I just turned it off. You expect all sorts of drunken phonecalls at that time. The next morning when I looked at the number I was surprised to discover it was a landline, I thought it'd be a mobile looking for a taxi or something.

Just out of curiosity I put the number into google. I thought if anything could help me, it would be a search engine that picks up the most diverse things. Apparently the number belongs to a company on an industrial estate in Elgin, Scotland. Somehow I doubt they were working at 2am on a Saturday Morning.

I missed another one from a mobile number I didn't recognise at Lunchtime today. Somewhere along the way my number seems to have got really popular. I don't think I should be getting a warm glow from all of this, but I do like receiving lots of calls...

... just not at 2am. ;-)

12 of 12 June

I'm sorry abour missing last months 12 0f 12. I wasn't really feeling in any shape or form up to it last month. In fact last month can really be catagorised by a lack of anything. I'm beginning to feel better (and happier) now though, so I can now return to that world of a number no less than 11 and not greater than 13.
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1. 01:45 am Approx

This is my mobile phone that sits on my bedsite cabinet. It doubles as my morning alarm during the week for work (as it has an alarm you can set for Monday - Friday). It has also just gone off! Well not just as this was written about 20 hours later, but I couldn't resist taking a picture at the time. It was actually a text message from Helen in reply to one I sent her earlier. I forgave her though as I did find a parcel on my doorstep yesterday evening contains a DVD she had bought me (V for Vendetta).

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2. 06:50 Approx

Now this is more like my usual time to emerge from my room. This is my newly decorated bathroom. It's not quite finished yet as I still have to finish putting the floor down and accessorise it. All of the tiling is done though and the radiator and shower have been installed. You don't know how good it feels to be able to have a shower on a morning after all this time. The 5 weeks I couldn't use the shower seemed like a lifetime.

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Breakfast. Currently breakfast is Muslei with pineapple chunks and slices of Banana. I've actually lost 1/2 a stone in the last month and I've put that down to tweaking my breakfast slightly. That and the illness anyway. ;-)

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4. 07:40 Approx

I had to collect a parcel from my local sortting office as they had tried to deliver it while I was out last week. Our sorting office has some really annoying opening times. It is only open Monday - Saturday, 07:00 - 10:00 am. Also, parking there is a nightmare at those times as all of the postmen (and women) are there picking up there morning deliveries. Speaking of postmen, this one caught me taking a picture of the sorting office and wondered what I was doing. When I told him he insisted I take a picture of him in action instead. Unfortunately it turned out a little blurry, but here he is world:- Pete the Postman.

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5. 09:30 Approx

I bought some new glasses the other week to replace my old ones that were starting to get a bit battered. In total they cost me £300, that's the frames + lenses which are thinner than normal. Plus the lenses are the type that go tinited in sunlight, which I'm finding very useful at the moment. The thin lenses were really a must as well, as my prescription is rather large. If I can find somebody to take my picture then I'll post a picture of me actually wearing them.

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6. 10:45 Approx

My first cup of tea of the day. Work has been so hectic this morning as my boss is on holiday this week. I didn't actually sit down to have a cup of tea until mid morning. Of course you can't have a tea break without the obligatory chocolate biscuit. In this case the last 2 Jaffa Cakes from the bottom of our biscuit urn.

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7. 13:40 Approx

During my lunchbreak I was trying to download maps to a friends PDA. These maps are Ordinace Survey maps (basically the most detailed maps of the UK) to use with his GPS so that when we go hill walking we don't get lost. They take absolutely hours to download which is why I'm doing it at work and not tying up my laptop at home.

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8. 14:30 Approx


This is a machine for cremating small animals, mainly dogs and cats, although at the moment it is only half finished. It has 3 seperate chambers arranged in such a way that they all supply each other with heat. You can either bulk burn or you can individually cremate family pets. It depends on the owner. Pet cremation is a big business on the continent where this is destined.

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9. 16:20 Approx

This is an Air Blast Cooler. It is used to cool down the water from big boilers that are used in the filtration plants we build. These plants are added to the cremators to clean the flue gases from the cremators of particulate (especially mercury). You could in theory use the heat from a cremator for a practical use rather than waste it by cooling it with a fan. But most places don't like the ethics of using waste cremation heat for things like heating the building. However in Sweden there are crematorium where the waste heat is re-used to heat nearby buildings.

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10. 18:35 Approx

Ths is my parents house. On Tueday nights I perfrom my duties as a Civilian instructor with an ATC (Air Training Corps) squadron. I have been an instructor with the same squadron for 5+ years and when I moved house I didn't change to a different squadron. So I always visit my parents (and get fed) on my way to the Sqn on cadet nights.

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11. 18:40 Approx

Me, in my new glasses. My sister kindly took this picture while I was my parents. I know they're fairly similar to my old ones, but I imagine everbody wonders if there new pair suits them. I don't pose well for photographs and it's not really the 'rugged' look. More the 'After work' look.

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12. 19:35 Approx

This is the squadron building. And yes it is as small as it looks. We're currently an expanding squadron, rapidly outgrowing our current premises. We don't know when (if ever) we'll be getting new facilities that are more suitable to our current strength. If you want to know more about the ATC, then our website is here.

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BONUS PIC: SECRET

As part of the ATC we have to know all the different security cleareance types in the military. We never need to handle anything with "Top Secret" stamped all over it, however there are one or two documents which have "Restricted" on top. Here's the only picture I can bring you as it's got "Unrestricted" plastered on top.

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So that's it for another month. I hope this makes up in some way for missing last months 12 of 12. It's a little annoying that I can't claim a clean sweep of 12 of 12's this year, so I'm aiming for 11 from 12. Gods, there is so many numbers in this blog, I wonder if in the years somebody will read it and decided there is some secret code imbedded in all of this. Then they'll create a cult dedicated to the "Da Ellis code" and cities will crumble, thensociety falls into the abyss.

If you have read all fo this and have no idea why I did this, then pop over here and read Chad's blog.

Ill Again

Well not quite, I'm actually out of the sickbed and into the recovery position (ie the couch). It started on Thurday night during my Tai Chi lesson as my legs just felt like jelly. I got back home and didn't sleep at all that evening, I just couldn't stop shaking (like I was cold).

The doctor thinks I've caught (another) viral infection affecting the glands in my throat. It's basically a fluids, paracetamol and bed rest scenario and so it has proved this weekend. I'm starting to feel better, but I'm really annoyed that another weekend has gone by that I couldn't get stuff done. I've yet to start the floor in the bathroom and I really want to get this project finished. I can then get the house tidy again and stop it resembling a workshop.

At the moment I'm just tired, so hopefully if the recovery continues I might actually get somewhere this week.

Fingers crossed.

And Now For Something Completely Different

Or - The Lighter Way To Enjoy Blogging

Looking back over the last few posts they've been... er... heavy to say the least. So tonight, sit back and enjoy Views from the Hill Top Lite...

Views From The Hillock

I was considering views from a mole hill, but moles are blind, so the view wouldn't be very far. Speaking of mole hills, I finally got round to tidying up my garden last weekend. Well, as tidy as I could make it before the rain hit. Here's another reason I blog - to confess my sins. I hadn't actually got the lawnmower out so far this year up until that point (slaps wrist).

Unfortunately for me "The Lawnmower was not enough!" (That sounds like a James Bond Film staring Alan Titchmarsh). I really needed a scythe for my lawn. The grass was so long, i'm not joking, if I didn't have the orange power cord to follow I could of lost my mower in my backgarden. But I resisted the temptation to buy a scythe in the end and just struggled with the mower.

The more I think about it, the cooler it sounds to "own a scythe" I mean the temptation would just be too great to wander round in a black robe (with hood) muttering "Cower mortals, it is now your time". Personally I blame Pratchett.

Anyway, I fought off the varied denziens of my garden to cut the grass to a respectable height, but it was very hard work. The "Hover mower" didn't really hover, I would of needed a helicopter to succeed with that feat. No, it was sheer brute strength in the end. I was hoping to find some Spinach growning in my garden. If TV has taught me anything it is that eating spinach will allow me feats of strenth beyond meer mortals, but not beyond Uri Geller .

On Monday I finally purchased a floor for my bathroom. I was undecided between wood laminate and tiles, so I went for both. I have bought some lamintate flooring that looks like white slate tiles. So my floor look like it has been tiled, but the laminate is much easier to lay. What's even better is that it's much easier to cut to shape to go round things such as the toilet and the sink. I'm going to try and lay this all by myself, it looks easy enough, but I also know those are the last words of the DIY amateur.

Also on the bathroom front, I used my new shower for the first time today. It has been a month since I last had a working shower and I've been chomping at the bin to get my new shower up and working. Unfortunately I've had to wait for the tiling to be finished and then wait 10 days before I could use it. I bought a shower curtain rail (and curtain) on Sunday and installed them almost immediately. So it's just been a waiting game until this morning.

Let's just say, that this mornings shower felt like one of the best ever. I could have stayed under it all day.

Finally here's a rumour you won't hear anywhere else. John Woo is to write and direct a live action adaptation of Disney's Bambi. This is due to the success of other Live action flicks that Disney has had recently, think Pirates of The Caribbean. I know, I know, this seems really far fetched, but if you don't believe me, check out the picture below.

I can just imagine the dialog now:-

"You killed my mother!" Followed by the hunter's beerkeg exploding in a shower of grenade shrapnel!

Or how about...

"Don't call me Flower" It turns out the skunk is homophobic, has a flick knife and isn't afraid to use it!

I can just see the little tagline that comes with the age certificate. This film contains scenes of mild animal peril, extreme violence and scenes of a discovery channel type sexual nature!

I vote for Bruce Willis to be the voice of Bambi.

5 Reasons why I Blog

After being tagged by Eileen it's time to post 5 reasons why I blog. I've never really thought about this before, so this should be interesting.

1. Because it's cheaper than using the phone. I love using the phone, as people can tell you I like to talk for hours. But with the current cost of using a phone (especially mobiles) it's cheaper to get more of the mundane (?) stuff out to the masses.

2. It is a record of my life. I have a terrible memory for things and this is a good way to help me look back on all the good/bad times.

3. It's just so much more glamourous than a paper diary. I mean for once the Geek side of like has Kudos. It's actually the fashionable thing to be a blogger. And for once that means I might just actually be fashionable. Maybe!

4. To fit in I suppose. All my firends blog, so it is another way to be I suppose.

5. The internet is more interactive than just writing it down. With a blog it is so easy to add extra content such as photgraohs and even video. Including things like this:



This is currently the song I can't stop humming as it runs around my head. And I don't mean that in a bad way. Not by any means. It's called "Soulmate" by Natasha Bedingfield. I do like some of her songs especially the slow/ballad ones. The last one I realled liked was "Wild Horses" no not that one, but a different one.

Anyway, this song has stuck with me, probably because it has struck a cord. Everybosy searches for the soul mate, including me. Maybe I blog to help me find her, who knows. All I know is they haven't found me yet, but there's always tomorrow!

Definately tomorrow.

Tagged:

Helen

The Answer

Not quite to life, the universe and everything. But at least to the poser I er, posed in my last post. I'm sure you remember this:




Well, let's just switch it off, zoom out, focus and we actually get:



Scroll down































This!




Yep, it's just the humble lightbulb. It was the only thing that fell easily to hand at Amanda's party, apart from the company I was keeping of course. And it certainly wasn't as interesting the company, but hey I thought it was an interesting photo none the less.



Speaking of interesting photo's the tiling in my bathroom is finally complete. Unfortunately I still can't use the shower for another week. Personally I can't wait until I can have a shower to help me wake up in the morning. Anyway this is how my bathroom currently looks:





The next thing need to do is install I shower curtain rail + curtain, this weekend so I'm ready to use the shower, the second the 7 days are up. Then I need to do something with the floor, but I'm not quite sure what. I'm definately not putting carpet down, but I can't decide on putting tiles down, or some sort of wood/laminate flooring instead.



I suppose like everything it'll come down to cost in the end.

Meet Mr Pointy!

In no way is ths post going to be on Topic!



Whenever anybody says, this may sting a bit. Please believe them!!! I went for a blood test this morning. This is not the first time I've had a blood test, but this is the first time it has really made me wince. I'm sure the poor old nurse was doing the best she could, but if I were to do a one word review of this particualr test it would be this:



Brutal.



Still at least she found the vein first time. I'd hate to think what would of happened if I became a human pin cushion. So why I am going through this, well as those of you who attended Amanda's party know I didn't exactly have a good journey. I was giving Dave and Simon a lift down to Sandhurst, when I began to feel "not well". I ended up having a panic attack and an ambulance was called while I was at a hotel.



I eventually made it to the party on the Saturday (along with Simon & Dave) and managed to really enjoy myself despite how I was feeling. I always enjoy it when I get together with friends and nights such as Eurovision make it all the better. Below are the edited highlights from the party. I'll setup an invite only account when I get to sort through the full set of photo's.

Martin and Rohan, can you guess which one is the party animal?

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Mike and Richard, I have no idea what is more intersting than me with my camera.
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Simon and H (our co-host and chef), somehow they found time between showers to barbeque.

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Helen & Amanda (our hostess), yes I know there is a third person i this one, I just don't know who it is.

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Can you guess what it is. I get really jealous (the good kind) of a "certain persons" arty shots on another blog and attempted to do my own. ;-) I don't think I'll be giving up my day job.
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I made it back on Sunday after a 5 hour drive in the pouring rain. After a night sleep I didn't really feel any better so I went to see my GP. And so I'm now going through a few rounds of tests. Last week was the first round and this morning was the second. No news yet and I hate waiting, but these things are never quick. It's just that my imagination works overtime and in the meantime I just have to put up with it in the meantime.

I actually stayed with my parents last week. Last week was one of those weeks where I couldn't face living on my own. Coming back to an empty house after work, I felt like I could just burst into tears. I'm back at my place now, it doesn't echo quite as badly as it seemed to last week.

But it stil does echo!

And so it begins...

Mwa ha ha ha ha *evil laugh*

It's a bank holiday, so guess what I've spent most of it doing? Yep as any good home owner knows bank holidays are there for one thing and one thing only. DIY. And of course there is just one DIY project worthy of the name in my house. The Bathroom.

In our last DIY epsiode as you know myself and my Dad spent the entire day ripping tiles off the wall and putting a few holes in the plaster board in the process. Well Sunday was spent fixing the holes in the plasterboard with filler (evil stuff) and then skimming the walls with fisihing plaster (v. evil stuff). My bathroom could have been mistaken for a solvent factory such was the smells coming from there and oh the pretty colours...

Anyway, today the walls were in a fit condition to actually begin tiling. I never realised how much palnning you have to do before you start tiling. I'd already spent sometime measuring the whole room up and working out hopw many tiles I would need. But we spent about half an hour discussing where to put that all important first tile. As we put the first tile on I couldn't help but feel we should have had "Ode to Joy" balring away in the background and myabe a visiting dignitry or something of that ilk.

We got a great system going whereby I prepared the tiles and spread the adhesive and my Dad put them on the wall and squared them all up. We worked for about 6 hours and below is the result.

So that's most of one wall down. 3 and a bit left to go, plus all the grouting of course. After today I've got high hopes that we might get this finished and that it'll actually look reasonbly good when it's done. When that'll be though is anybodies guess. Our first target is to get enough done so the plumber can come and finish and then I can start having showers again. Then we can finish the rest of the room, probably making the most of the next bank holiday!

Hope Floats...

... or in this case at least doesn't drown. ;-)


For once my prayers were answered. Maybe a bit more forcefully than I would of liked, but I am now actually back home from Norfolk. My boss actually wanted me back in the office today so he "motivated" anotehr engineer to finish on time to releave me. What that actually meant was he ask (read: ordered) me to come back after finishing cremations on the Tuesday night.

Although luck wasn't with me for the entire time I was there. I was actually in Kings Lynn (a place Dave knows well). And I quite agree with Dave, there isn't a lot there. I drove down there on the the Monday morning setting off very early about 6 ish. I also had to use my own car. As I explained on Sunday this was all hastily arranged. What I forgot to mention was that the company pool car was unavailable.

"We'll sort you a car, don't worry". Was a phrase used quite a lot that afternoon, but by the end of the afternoon/early evening (about 6:20 ish) there was just me, my boss and his boss left in the building and guess what? Yep, no car. This saga continues later. So as mentioned earlier Monday morning finds me in my little car full of tools, on the A17 getting...

... lost!!!

I have a sat nav program and to quote Top Gear's James May "It's only as good as the clot that programs it". I set it for the right street, but in the wrong part of town. Doh, doesn't even begin to cover it!

Anyway I eventually reached the crematorium, where I've actually had what could be called a fairly easy time of it. Yes, I've worked 2 12 hour days, but they were what could be really classed as "Babysitting". Hence why my boss wanted me back in the office to do some real work.

A word about the operators. I knw Norfolk can breed them 'odd' but I've yet to come across a group odder than this lot. They think they are funny, and most of the time they are, the other times they just made me cringe. The most cringe worthy of them all was actually Canadian though! Go figure!

So I finished work on the Monday evening and made all haste to the hotel. Only to find the hotel didn't have a booking for me. I have since discovered this was the hotels fault, but at the time I was contemplating crucifing the project manager at work. I tried the Travel Inn's but the nearest one with a room was a 30 miles away in Boston. I eventually was directed to a hotel in the centre of Kings Lynn that looked like it was waiting for the 80's to come back into fashion! Still it had a roof and would feed me so it would do for the evening.

Tuesday evening saw me driving back along the A17 towards home and getting stuck behind lots of slow HGV's and tractors. The A17 is a single carriageway with very few passing points especially for a car like mine.so it took me almost a 1/3 longer to get home becasue of it, finally getting back just in time for "Extra Time" in the football.

Back to the company car saga. When I got back in the office this morning I have been making big hints that I probably should have a company car with all of the last minute travelling I do. My boss has finally taken the hint, he's going to speak to his boss (eventually) although I'll probably have to keep reminding him. So watch this space...

Waltzing Along

Well, not really. I mean, I've never waltzed in my life, never really had the rhythm for it I suppose. Plus I suspect travelling by car is faster! Except if you live in central London, then maybe dancing along the pavement would be faster.

Anyway, as always happens at my place of work, there were very last minute decisions made on Friday. Which is why, very very early tomorrow (Monday) morning I will find myself on the road and on my way to Kings Lynn in Norfolk. Yes I'm heading to the Fens for a few (hopefully) days, until another engineer comes along to take over and I can get back to the office. The job itself isn't too tough, just babysitting a machine and making sure the operators know what they are doing before we rip there other machines out.

This is one week I definately don't want any problems. This project is already 5 weeks late and we can't afford anything else to rear it's ugly head. In fact things have so far gone so wrong that I'm half expecting Bigfoot to be the next problem. Well it is Norfolk after all!

But that's tomorrow, let's go back to this weekend. This weekend I was down in Manchester visiting Dave and Simon. But this weekend had a purpose, we went to see James in concert at the M.E.N Arena. This wasn't James Blunt or James Morrison, this was just 'James'. This was the 3rd time I've seen thenm in conert which puts them at the top of my concert charts.

The concert itself was spectacular. The music was brilliant (obviously) and the lighting effect weren't too shabby either. In fact the only thing that was wrong with the evening was that the people in front of us insisted on smoking, even though the arena itself is a no smoking zone. I can't wait until the ban on smoking in public places comes into effect in 2 months. Some people just make me very angry...

Grr...

Anyway, let's finish on a something a little on calming. For those of you who have no idea who James are here is one of my favourite songs. Here's hoping I'm back midweek.

Do You Remember Your First Time?

I do! "Naughty Thoughts Abound"

For the first time last week I was a complete and utter geek at work! It was my real first out pouring of geekiness. And do you know what? Some of my colleagues actually "got it" I was most impressed. Although it went completely over my bosses head, but you can't win them all.

Anyway, I got to play "House". We've had a problem with a project at work (I can't name it it's very politicaly sensitive) and this has been going on for weeks. Anyway different people have been involved over the past few weeks and various "problems" have been seen, but never been discussed at the same time. So I watched this project remotely for a few days to verify all these problems.

Can you see where this is going?

Yep, I made gratuitous use of the white board in my office. I wish I could take a picture of it show you, but it would require too much censoring. It starts with a big title at the top that reads; "***** Differential Diagnosis" (***** being the project name) and then in a different colour I list all of the observed symptoms (of which there are half a dozen). I even left room in case more symptoms appear. And finally I listed the outcome if the "symptoms" get worse, which basically amounts to "smoke, flames & bang".

When somebody stepped into the office and tried to add an extra symptom I even got to utter the immortal line: - "I told you,only I get to play with the markers". I had a big smile on my face for the rest of the day.

I've even decided to grow the "House Stubble" to commemorate this event.

And now for a quick bathroom update:

Well, I spent the entire weekend trying to sort out tiles. Firstly I removed all but 6 of the current tiles from the bathroom wall. Why keep 6? Well, the sink isn't actually screwed to the wall. Instead I've discovered it's only the sealent between it and the wal tiles that holds it up. It doesn't actually need the pedestal, time for plan B on that score.

I have also purchased there replacements. I'm going to tile the entire room in a 2 tone colour scheme. The picture isn't brilliant, but as you can see it's a nice shiny dark(ish) grey at the bottom. With a 2 tone border in the middle (really shiny) with a beige/light grey hybrid for the upper half. The tiles are bigger then the old ones, so I don't yet know how long it will take me.

Below is a current "Work in progress" from the bathroom. As you can see it's a bit of a mess, but my new taps have at least been fitted.

The radiator is also currently in and working, but I couldn't take a picture of that at the moment. I've had to prop the door open as I'm currently repainting the skirting board from an "off white" to an "actual white" while there are no tiles on the wall and no carpet on the floor. I don't have to be so careful. I've manged to do most of it, and I should finish the rest of the skirting board on Wednesday night.

Oh and until the tiling is finished I don't have a shower, so I either don't or I take a bath. Unless I get up earleir I don't have time for a bath before I go to work. I never realised I'd have such difficult decisions once I started this project!

Minimal Disruption

You know when someone used the phrase "minimal disruption" you should actually be focusing on the "disruptive" part rather than the word minimal. The plumber/electrician/all round good guy has started work on those jobs around the bathroom that I talked about last time. I took the day off work on Monday, just i case he needed anything after he had actually started on the job.

Well for most of Monday he had to turn off the electicity as he had to replace the utility box in the kitchen. The old one didn't have any spare RCD's (Residual Current Devices - a type of circuit breaker) so he had to fit a new one with more room. As he was fitting a new one he had to retest every other circuit in the house ( as each one had a new RCD). That took all of monday.

It is now Wednesday and he is currently almost halfway through (he's probably going to overun by half a day on the original estimate). The radiator has been fitted and he's done all of the wiring now. What's left is to fit the taps and the shower. Currently my house looks like this.

The Corridor from front door to bathroom.

My spare room/temporary workshop.

So what disruption have I left. Well, to fit the shower he actually has to remove the bath entirely from the bathroom to reroute some pipes (which means no showers until it's finished). And of course that probably means the water will be turned off as well. But it's all in a good cause. I also have Friday booked as a day off from work to make sure everything is finished correctly. Only when he's finished will I take some "work in progress" pictures.

So that's the week ahead, what about the week previous? Well Friday was obviously the 13th an while I had no bad luck personally 2 of my charges tried to injure themselves in spectacular fashion during our weekly sports session. Neither was injured seriously it just meant more paperwork for me to do.

On the Sunday I attended an all day T'ai Chi course held by our instructor for all of his classes in the area. It was actually part of an all week easter course that he was running, but because of other commitments I could only attend on the final day. God's I was sore after that session. I tweaked a muscle on the inside of my thigh as well (Steady girls!). It was my own fault, I stretched I bit to far during one of the exercises. Part of the lesson was spent on Massage techniques (which is part of our discipline) and I think that section went on longer than he intended, probably because our instructor was enjoying it so much. This is actually a good skill to have after doing a long session such as this one.

Work has been, well work. The French have been really quiet and instead the Swede's keep ringing/emailing with problems - mostly to do with Windows. Would you believe I think there is a langauge problem with English versions of Windows talking/networking with Swedish versions. I have also been using out remote monitoring system to watch a new site we are currently trying to install, that just doesn't seem to work. Everything points to the fact t should work, it just doesn't!

The rest of my working time has been spent on a monster Excel document. I'm running a few equations through tables of variables trying to simulate various conditions when it comes to controling the temperature of gas burners during certain conditions. It's more interesting than it actually sounds as it's part of our efforts to reduce the fuel consumption of our machines. It's all to do with environmental efficiency in todays global/political climate. All of the number's it is producing is just making my head spin.

I still have weeks when I do wish I could have a quick drink now and again. Speaking of drinking (and it's a bit disturbing how this link works), I'm thinking of organising a get together at my place in the mid/late summer region of this year. Yes I know it's been over 2 years since I moved in (hey with house parties it's better late than never). But after all this time I felt it's time I actually hoseted one, rather than just helped. I've attended so may other's that I definatelty have more than one favour to return. ;-)

Any who, I'm just casting the net to see who would be initially interested. I'm doing it here as I'm going to restrict numbers initially due to space issues. I also realise that for those London based people it's a long way for you to come, so don't worry if it's not possible.

Like I said, I'm just fishing for responses at the moment, like a little garden gnome by the side of a pond. ;-)

12 of 12 April

Another month, another 12 of 12. I never realised that I'd have at least 48 picture worthy moments so far this year, but there you go. Especially as they have to come in 12 picture bursts each month, but so far so good. I'll just not try to think of the other 96 I've got left to find somewhere this year. I can already see that May is going to be a doozy.

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1. 07:10 Approx

My bathroom (after I've had a shower, there'll be no nakedness in these pictures). This will be the last time I can take this picture of my bathroom. Isn't it just lovely and white (and boring), great for showing up the dust and grime. Next week I start refitting various items to make it more interesting (and more useful).

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2. 07:20 Approx

These are some of the currently selected parts that are going ot be used to refit the bathroom. Next week we will be replacing the standard radiator, with a proper towel warmer (to save space & have toasty hot towels) and fitting a new electric shower. The current shower uses hot water straight from the boiler (which is fickel in it's operation). The taps on the bath don't work so we're replacing them (and the basin taps to match). Eventually we'll be redoing the tiling and the floor as well.

Oh and the picture on the otherside of the box is a semi-clothed woman about to step into the shower. So the box is the other way round (I meant what I said earlier!)

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3. 07:25 Approx

Ouch! I just tripped over this on my kitchen floor. Why do I have a TV in the middle of my kitchen floor you ask? Well, this particular TV broke the other week. The picture became curved as if you were watching everything in a carnival mirror (straight lines were curved). This annoyed me so much that I bought I new TV. While fitting the new one myself and a friend moved the TV into the kitchen temporarily. Unfortunately they left before I could get there help to move it somewhere more suitable (it's darn heavy). So this morning it took it's revenge for being replaced.

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4. 10:00 Approx

My life on a PC screen. Since getting a new PC at work (plus an up to date copy of MS Office) I've started using Outlook to organise my life. All those colours represent different aspects of my life. The gold coloured one in the middle of my screen reminds me it's 12 0f 12 time. Unfortunately I can't take my PC home with me so I was stuffed for organising stuff outside of work. Until, thanks to the miracle fo Ebay I aquired the PDA you see next to it.

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5. 12:00 Approx

Just a little light reading here. Although I'm not part of process design in the company it doesn't hurt to know the detail as to how things work. I've had these books since uni (approx 5 years ago) and I still don't understand them half of what's in them.

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6. 16:00 Approx

After the various pictures of cremators I thought I would introduce you to another piece of "equipment". This is called a Cremulator (pron. crem-you-lay-tor not cream-you-lay-ta) as one of our american sales guys is fond of calling it. After you have been cremated you don't come out of the Cremator in that fine dust that you see in urns or in scatterings. Instead you come out in big lumps. A cremulator is used to grind those lumps up into the small white dust. The cabinet on the right is an "Ash Transfer Cabinet" where the ash from the cremulator is poured into an urn or other container.

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7. 17:10 Approx

So what lurks in the boot of my car. Well, it's not that big (snigger) so not a lot. The box on the right is my toolbox (I'll refrain from any more euphormisms), which lurks in my boot as it gets used at work and at home. Also visable is a small carton of engine oil (just in case) and a warning triangle. Out of shot is a GB sticker and headlamp deflectors which I need to put on the car for driving in Europe. The box contains my golf shoes (yes I try ot play golf), my clubs are actually at my parents house as I'm due to play them sometime in the near future. What's not in my boot is a bag that contains a sleeping bag and an air bed (+ pump) just in case of accomodation emergencies.

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8. 18:25 Approx

This is me just before I head off to my evening T'ai Chi class. I usually get changed in the office as there isn't really anywhere to get changed once I get to the class. We wear different coloured T-shirts depending on the aspect of training we are doing. What you can't see are the baggy black pants. The camera is propped up on a filing cabinet and wasn't pointed quite where I thought was!

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9. 18:55 Approx

This is Meanwood Church Hall. This is where the Thurday night T'ai Chi class is held, not much else to say really, except it was a bugger to find when I first joined.

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10. 20:20 Approx

This is a picture or a class in full swing (literally). Notice that we have changed from the blue to the yellow tops. This is because we are practicing the Yang arts, rather than the Ying Arts. On the far left is our senior instructor (and highest ranking practisioner outside of China) whose title is Lobar (lit. "Old man"). On the right is our class instructor (and Lobar's student) John. They are currently demonstrating the principle "The longest will become the shortest and the shortest will become the longest". This demonstated by John (with the long stick) failing in his attempts to touch Lobar, and yet Lobar can tap him everytime with the much shorter stick.

The website for the arts can be found here for those who are interested.

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11. 21:45 Approx

The obligatory night time shot. How many people going shopping at the supermarket at this time of night? More than I expected by the looks of this picture. Mind you who am I too talk, I'm just popping in to get some Banana's as I ate the last one this morning.

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12. 22:25 Approx

Ah back home to, to my latest gadget and the reason that TV in the middle of my kitchen floor decided to take it's revenge. This is my new TV (obviously) and it's nice and shiny and new (duh)! It seems much better than the old one (straight lines are actually straight) and the only really problem I have with it at the moment is the lack of power button. You can also just see my favourite gadget my Nintendo Wii, it's just so much fun, especially the sports games.

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Now I must confess that I have a template which I copy/paste to help me make these 12 of 12 posts. This section I have actually called "Postamble" I mean the bit at the beginning is "preamble" so why can't this be a post. Okay, so I haven't actually called the bit in the middle "amble" maybe if I did I could get away with it. Also, if you can pre-empt, does that mean you can post-empt? I'd like to see Doc Brown from Back to the Future explain that one.

If you have read all fo this and have no idea why I did this, then pop over here and read Chad's blog.

Insert Heroic Theme Here!

I'm going to break the first rule of being a superhero, I'm going to reveal my secret identity. Yes, it is me, I am me. No wait...hang on I've got that the wrong way round. You already know my secret identity, if you don't just look at the top right of this page. What you actually need to know is which superhero I actually am.

To be honest with you I don't know either (that's how secret it really is)! What I mean is over the past few days I've just been discovering my superpowers myself. I have the ability to break electical appliances and white goods in all sorts of subtle ways. In the past few days:

(i) I have found my washing machine leaks out of the door when it gets going on the spin cycle. I have to press the "Reduce Creases" button to slow the spinning and prevent my pots and pans floating away into the living room.

(ii) My laptop can only be having what can be described as "issues". Everytime I boot it up, a different problem presents itself. If it's not the antivirus complaining that windows has taken it's ball back,it is the screen flashing like a strobe light in an effort to try and induce a fit. I just have to keep rebooting until I get a problem I can work around. At present it is complaining that Realplayer has gone into anaphylactic shock, which suits me just fine.

(iii) While loading up a game on my Wii console I got the message "Save Data Corrupt, erasing data". You could probably here my screams of anguish echoing throughout the hills.

(iv) And then today, when my TV (for the 2nd time in 2 1/2 years) cannot decide what size screen it has, nor what shape a "rectangle" actually is. It has any number of different picture options and none of them fit on the screen. Then when you view something full screen the top of the screen has that funny curve in it. It looks like you're trying to watch the TV in a fairground mirror.

I suspect that I am currently generating massive electrical/magnetic fields that are causing all these problems. Maybe I should've of paid more attention when it was observed at Simon's Stoke WD party that when I wandered around the room, the TV reception changed. Hopefully I'll soon learn to control these powers and use them for good. I've earmarked the TV as the first thing that I need to replace, so it would be nice if I could get these powers under control. Can you imagine what would happen if I walked into a branch of Dixons?

TV Armageddon! Hey maybe that could be my alias?

In other, just as "Grr" news, I'm pissed off with my counterparts in the French office. Except of course I don't have a counterpart in the French office, otherwise they wouldn't keep annoying me. So much so, that I was ordered by some jumped up, pencil pusher in the French office to be available at 08:30 French time (07:30 UK time to provide remote support to a site. This is not just any site, a flock of sheep (minus the sheepdog) has more intelligence than the people on this site.

And to top it all off, it is so wrong for me to have this song constantly floating around my head.