Insert Heroic Theme Here!

I'm going to break the first rule of being a superhero, I'm going to reveal my secret identity. Yes, it is me, I am me. No wait...hang on I've got that the wrong way round. You already know my secret identity, if you don't just look at the top right of this page. What you actually need to know is which superhero I actually am.

To be honest with you I don't know either (that's how secret it really is)! What I mean is over the past few days I've just been discovering my superpowers myself. I have the ability to break electical appliances and white goods in all sorts of subtle ways. In the past few days:

(i) I have found my washing machine leaks out of the door when it gets going on the spin cycle. I have to press the "Reduce Creases" button to slow the spinning and prevent my pots and pans floating away into the living room.

(ii) My laptop can only be having what can be described as "issues". Everytime I boot it up, a different problem presents itself. If it's not the antivirus complaining that windows has taken it's ball back,it is the screen flashing like a strobe light in an effort to try and induce a fit. I just have to keep rebooting until I get a problem I can work around. At present it is complaining that Realplayer has gone into anaphylactic shock, which suits me just fine.

(iii) While loading up a game on my Wii console I got the message "Save Data Corrupt, erasing data". You could probably here my screams of anguish echoing throughout the hills.

(iv) And then today, when my TV (for the 2nd time in 2 1/2 years) cannot decide what size screen it has, nor what shape a "rectangle" actually is. It has any number of different picture options and none of them fit on the screen. Then when you view something full screen the top of the screen has that funny curve in it. It looks like you're trying to watch the TV in a fairground mirror.

I suspect that I am currently generating massive electrical/magnetic fields that are causing all these problems. Maybe I should've of paid more attention when it was observed at Simon's Stoke WD party that when I wandered around the room, the TV reception changed. Hopefully I'll soon learn to control these powers and use them for good. I've earmarked the TV as the first thing that I need to replace, so it would be nice if I could get these powers under control. Can you imagine what would happen if I walked into a branch of Dixons?

TV Armageddon! Hey maybe that could be my alias?

In other, just as "Grr" news, I'm pissed off with my counterparts in the French office. Except of course I don't have a counterpart in the French office, otherwise they wouldn't keep annoying me. So much so, that I was ordered by some jumped up, pencil pusher in the French office to be available at 08:30 French time (07:30 UK time to provide remote support to a site. This is not just any site, a flock of sheep (minus the sheepdog) has more intelligence than the people on this site.

And to top it all off, it is so wrong for me to have this song constantly floating around my head.