12 of 12 March

It's 12th of March and that can only mean one thing. It's that time of the month where I avoid the censors and I'm let loose with my camera. At least until the men in white coats come along with the syringe nicknamed "Mr Happy".

I just wish a jacket with so many buckles was fashionable! So before I have to type this with my nose here we go again...

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1. 07:30 Approx

By this time I'm awake, fed and ready for work. There is only one last thing I have to do before I leave - take my medication. I'm currently on 3 pills and a special orangr drink a day (+ a nasal spray for my sinus problems). The orange drink is the oddest thing. If I don't drink it as soon as it's made up then it turns to jelly and would require a Knife and Fork to drink.

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2. 07:55 Approx

The traffic is backing up earlier on the commute than my previous 12 of 12. As always the matrix message signs (those displays above and beside the motorway) are right on the ball. Warning me of he possibilty of a queue and to drive at 40 mph. I'm desperately resisting the sarcasm at this moment.

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3. 10:00 Approx

This is our testing panel at work. We use it to test any new equipment we plan to add to our standard systems. The display panels at the top are called HMI's (Human Machine Interface's) and the bottom electrical equipment are called PLC's (Programmable Logic Controller's). My working life is just full of TLA's (Three Letter Abbreviations), but we couldn't work without them.

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4. 13:00 Approx

It's lunchtime and that's the time I can try and safetly get those jobs done during the day, that I can't do when I get back home in the evening. In this case try and sort out the mortgage on my house. I think they just make it this complicated on purpose to stop you switching and the fee's they charge are just horrendous. Power to the people obviously hasn't reach mortgage companies yet!

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5. 14:57 Approx

A bigger picture of a TLA, sorry I mean a PLC. This is the device that control everything to do with the cremator (or incinerator). Each PLC has a software program running inside that takes information from a number of sources (including PC's) before deciding what to do. These little things take the place of huge panels that would take uo the space of a garden shed and make my life much easier than it was for some of my (older) colleagues.

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6. 16:30 Approx

This is a machine that has just been finished in the workshop. What you are looking at is what is called the Primary Chamber. This is where the actual "Cremation" occurs, at temperatures of approximately 850 celcius (1562 Farenheit). We don't actually do any in the workshop, we just heat the machine up using the gas burners while testing. We only cremate when the machines are "on site" at the crematorium and running fully.

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7. 18:30 Approx

The fridge of a single male in his mid 20's. It has just been restocked after a trip to the supermarket, from Top left to bottom right; Butter, Margarine, Mushrooms, Fruit Smoothy, Creme Freche, Spotted Dick, Cod Fillets, Pepsi Max (not mine, left by a friend 3 months ago). There is salad, corn on the cob and a potato in the trays at the bottom.

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8. 18:45 Approx

But before I eat it's off on my trusty steed for some exercise. The bike is nothing to write home about as it is about 7 years old, but it is solid and everything still works well. I had to fit a new seat though as the old one could have been a cold war torture device invented by the KGB. Maybe the CIA has them as well, but they're not letting on. I like cycling it's helping me rebuild my leg strength afer I became rather inactive after an illness 3 1/2 years ago.

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9. 19:20 Approx

Yep it's the obligatory dark picture (i'm doing it while I still can) and this one is very dark! On tonight's cycle route I passed a small track of which I've always wondered where it leads. I know curiosity killed the cat, but it always get's the better of me, so down I went. This is about halfway down the track. Although the photo's not brilliant, I felt like I was next in the "Blair Witch Project".

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10. 19:22 Approx

The track didn't get very far and this is what greated me at it's finish. I'm in the middle of a pitch black wooded area and I've come across a sign that says "end". Needless to say you start to looking over your shoulder. I don't mind telling you I made it up the track faster than I went down it. As an aside for those of you who are unfamiliar with the British Highway code, the sign has nothing to do with "umbrella's required" (usually a necessity over here anyway) and is used to indicate roadworks.

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11. 20:30 Approx

Food. I was so hungry when I got back from cycling. Do you remember that list from my fridge? Most of it ended up on this plate. I was so hungry that I ate half of it before I remembered to get a picture. Next time you might end up with an empty plate.

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12. 21:45 Approx

Vanity, we all suffer from it and I am gulity as charged. I was looking at my passport with it's age old photo, before I happened to glance in the mirror. My hairline has defiantely gone backwards at a high rate of knots. However until eye's become detachable I've never known how bad it was "on top". The above photo confirms my worst fears. How I wish I hadn't given up the alcohol.

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So there you have it. This puts 12 of 12, 25% of the way through this year and so far so good I'm still here. It's good job that this is all picture based, if I were let loose on my work stories I doubt you'd all be around next month.

If you have read all fo this and have no idea why I did this, then pop over here and read Chad's blog.